When I Will Be Very Old Poem by Souren Mondal
When I Will Be Very Old
When I would be very old,
with wrinkles on my face and a
stick on my hand,
without all of my natural teeth,
and grey, thin hair on my head,
shrinking body
and a cold, calm look in my eyes,
Would you love me?
Would you love me if I told you
that my heart needs a pacemaker
to make it run?
Would you love me still
if I told you that you can no longer
compose blazons on me
because my body had lost its
former shape and is no longer the one
that made you stare at it for hours?
Would you love me still if I
told you that I now spend each evening
sitting on a chair beside the fireplace,
without any maid,
reading your stupid poems,
the ones you write about me,
thinking in your mind that I regret
having lost you,
While I think that my decision to let you
go was absolutely correct?
Frankly speaking,
my old, grey haired, stupid poet,
Poet with an ego with the size of
large glaciers,
I really don't care whether you
would love me not,
because all that you ever loved was
your idea of me and not the
real me.
Write your sonnets
and your complains,
and everything in between,
Live in your bubble,
But this woman,
Woman with and old heart
that runs with a pacemaker,
and peace in her mind,
will write back to you.
So,
When I would be very old,
I would not give a single damn
about your opinions
dear poet,
Because when I will be very old,
I will be happy and calm
that I lived my life on my own terms,
Living a life that you imagine I should live?
Nope,
I don't have time for that.
However, there is a very important factor at play in this poem - - the speaker is an honest human being, who lives her life 'authentically' (in Sartre's words) and had no time for pretence or making a fool out of someone.
Let us also assume that this woman had been always honest to the poet, and writes her own poetry.
Clarification: A lot of people may call me a hypocrite since my own 'Dedication' series and other poems addressed at 'Neena' are almost similar to the ones Ronsard and his likes would have written. But Helene in this poem and the Neena of the other poems are entirely different entities. This Helene is the woman of my other poem 'Talk Behind my Back'. This Helene is by no means a charlatan like Neena. So, it is in both ways that the pendulum swings.
My stance is clear, if you want to live, live 'authentically', something that Neena doesn't and Helene does. I support Feminism and not Patriarchy. I support women's liberation but not hypocrisy.
Souren Mondal
October 2,2015
Chandannagar.
, Honesty and integrity is crucial in any human relationship.But when it comes to the question of 'Honest to oneself' it may break many a relationships.Our emotions are always in a state of flux.Our views, opinions, perspectives., inclinations and likes change overtime with our experience. When one is in a relationship, the question how the other person views him/her, whether that person would be loving that much after many years when they grow old bothers a lover.He questions and answers himself.All that he gets is his own perception of things.Your poem is really of very high standard and thought provoking.
Between your poetry and your notes, it is evident that you are not only a gifted poet, but a sensitive and highly intelligent human being. I look forward to seeing you 'evolve' as a poet. Few have the innate poetic talent that you possess. Fewer still display it so vividly at such a young age.
Thank you very much Kelly. I too wish to see myself evolve not only as a poet but as a human being too :)
Wow! This poem is filled with passion for the truth. Its energy is sustained for so many lines I was breathless by the end. You quoted Sartre who is very relevant because his concept of GOOD FAITH in our dealings with each other is especially important among lovers. But your poem is a statement about integrity, that is, being true to yourself and not letting another person's image of you dominate you. This must have been an exhausting poem to write. You have to give so much of yourself in giving voice to another person. But it's worth the effort.
It is always wortn the effort sir.. I try to bring different 'voices', so to say, in my poems, something I always love :) And indded Sartre is one of most important figures in my life, his books shaped my perspective greatly, influenced me, and made me think - a lot :)
just to clarify my previous post: - Random House Dictionary: a poet is a person who has the gift of poetic thought, imagination and creation, and in addition poetic creation over time. so you see: you ARE a poet.. ;)
Yes, I know, I am sure that Daniel too thinks absolutely the same ;) P: S: You two did an incredible job to bring so many voices from around different corners of the world in a same place :)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 5:46:29 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Mind blowing visualization. The poet has already started to attain the knack of peeping in other's minds and projecting their perspective. Nice poem.