Treasure Island

Clifton Redmond

(7-4-1982 / Carlow)

When I paint my masterpiece


There it is right in front of me
the perfect poem
a masterpiece
like a silk thread tapestry
woven by the hands of a master.

My eyes are in disbelief
at how it meanders on the page
glowing as I bask in its structure
the sheer clarity
as I discover the workings of his mind.

Actually inspired
as I stutter
wading through his old verse
this mad scientist of the past
cutting words and dicing them.

Pulling them apart
and making them dance like a puppeteer
with stanzas hanging from a string
the simple intrusion of the great crowd pleaser.

Arranging them and stretching the syllables
wrenching the vowels
throwing commas like daggers
into this idea of a poem.

And he must have stood above it
the finished product admiring his creation
wondering if death should follow his greatest success.

Achieving perfection
and fading in a whimper
the last scuppered words
'my work is done'.

But no such luck for me
as I drag my pen through the drivel
the mundane flicker and fuss
of a mind full of rust.

And I hope someday
far off in the future
I finally clear out the clutter
in the broken down mind.

And shout eureka
as I find that same elation
relief that I'm finally done.

When I paint my masterpiece

Submitted: Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Edited: Sunday, October 13, 2013

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  • Wahab Abdul (10/30/2013 3:01:00 PM)

    You contestant people are so serious about the poetry contest conducted by poemhunter for 2013 that I see people made phone calls and send unsolicited spasm to each other and I am not left alone , but I had never asked any to vote for my poem ‘’unique ‘’ one, let alone to receive or make phone calls and I wonder how many people understood uniqueness of my poem ‘unique’ and its intrinsic and duality in meaning …simply every one went for the author for ‘’I ‘’ but this insinuates for the universe also , the poems which won prizes some are direct copy from the poems of Rabindranath Tagore (1913 Nobel prize winner) and other two are descriptive poetry without deeper meaning or have any significance or insinuations. According to me this poem deserves to be number one and ''Usain bolt '' may be second......take care, , (Report) Reply

  • David Ratcliffe (10/2/2013 10:48:00 AM)

    There is something very special about the way this builds and delivers its message. I consider this to be a significant piece (Report) Reply

  • Martin Meyler (10/2/2013 6:49:00 AM)

    Breathtaking poem by an amazing poet. This is one of the best I have ever read by any poet (Report) Reply

  • Joseph Doyle (9/19/2013 11:51:00 PM)

    I was delighted to pour over your words, you used your pen as a tool, as an artist uses his rigger brush, painting fine detail as you stir deep emotion with words. A worthy winner. Well done Clifton. (Report) Reply

  • Randy Nii (9/18/2013 6:49:00 PM)

    A great piece Clifton, A piece, I am sure all writers must reflect upon. Putting themselves up against the best of the best.One part part saying, I'm as good as that, while the other must consider the unworthiness of his own inability..Certainly displaying the heights of ability in this. Well done (Report) Reply

  • Joey Jones (9/3/2013 5:34:00 PM)

    WOW just doesn't say it well enough. This was is a profound and beautiful poem that no doubt echoes from the poets soul. I truly enjoyed this Clifton. (Report) Reply

Read all 13 comments »

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