When I Go To Hell Poem by Stanley Cooper

When I go to hell, I’ll hope it’s wintery cold
It’s usually hot there, so I’ve been told
When hell freezes over, I’ll try to arrive
For I prefer freezing to burning alive

I hope old devil Satan accommodates me
With tenderized steaks and flasks of Chablis
Desert of ice-cream, butter pecan
A very firm mattress to sleep and dream on

If this can’t be arranged, I’ll refuse to stay
No sense in staying if I can’t live my way
Back to earth I’ll come for forever and then
My hellish days on Earth will start over again