When I Breathe My Last Poem by M D Dinesh Nair

When I Breathe My Last

Rating: 5.0


When I breathe my last
I wish if an angel were to take me upwards
Unto the skies beyond which I had never seen when alive
And then into the Abode of God who would wait for me too.

When I reach His abode at last
I wish if He were to welcome me unto that Eternity
Which I had never craved for when alive
And I would enter it for once and for just a while.

There if I were to meet my long lost mother,
I would first suck from her breast that milk of love
There if I were to meet my father next
I would make his weak frame strong and then blacken his hair.

There if I were to see my friends who died before me,
I would play with them and laugh till He closed his ears
There I would swim in the river of tears of joy shed by all
And there I would Baptise God in the River of Knowledge.

If I were to be the teacher of His for a little while,
I would teach Him how to love the mortals living down for a change
If He were to be a good Boy, I would teach Him to listen
And unto His ears I shall whisper the tales of woes infinite.

Bishops and Sages would frown at me, I would not care
Mullahs and Gurus would laugh at me, I would just smile back,
Peasants and Poets would close their ears and I would my eyes
I had had enough of them when alive, not anymore shall I need them.

If He were to do well, I will give Him notes
They will include no Commandments but a few instructions
My notes will sharpen His eyes and enlighten His spirit
And then will He smile at me and the cosmic spaces will dance,

God would then dismantle His abode for ever!
And His Eleventh Commandment will be given to all the inmates.
That will be to return to the new Earth to live further
And He would be there in His new abode, nay our abode.

He would right all the wrongs since the Creation,
He would respond to prayers heard and anguish unheard
He would appear across the West and the East and on the far off islands in one form
And He would shed the tears after the real Work was done.

If He were to ask me ever, how I ever felt about Him then
I would tell Him that the First Prodigal Father had returned
To our home of many fathers and He would call me naughty
And there will bloom in the sky a million stars to smile afresh.

But when I breathe my last
I am afraid with a few tears shed over my corpse
I shall just be lamented by two and a score persons
And then shall I end my journey on a pyre!

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
This is my ultimate poem on a hypothetical matter of serious concerns. Please note that its merits, if any and demerits, even if they are many are to be attributed to the sensitivity of the concept and not me..
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Kanav Justa 15 November 2013

the middle part and the ending is very powerful, , , , loved the line And unto His ears I shall whisper the tales of woes infinite

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Payal Parande 15 November 2013

may i say how brilliant writer you are sir, you are affectionate you are brave, you are talented and i found myself lucky that i get to know you that i get to read your marvelous poetry..the piece you've written is spellbinding it keeps the reader stick to it till the end no matter if the reader is a believer or nonbeliever..and as much as i know we have have our own heart our own brain and our own opinions... when i sing my feet dances when i dance my mouth sings when i sleep my eyes dream when i stand my body waits when i write my heart speaks when i pray i have faith .... hats off.......

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Valsa George 15 November 2013

So you wish to reshape God in your mould! 'And then will He smile at me and the cosmic spaces will dance, 'We occasionally see that dance! Unfortunately it is a late bliss for you! 'If I were to be the teacher of His for a little while', Teachers always like to teach others and are never willing to be taught! Any way a beautiful poem, rich in humour and mischievously entertaining! Enjoyed much! A sure 10 for this!

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Dinesan Madathil 17 November 2013

I wish to reshape Him for the benefit of the lesser mortals, When 'you' all occasionally see the cosmic spaces dancing now itself I distance from yourselves, It is not a bliss aspired by me for my first line speaks it out, I shall teach things to a God who created the Sun and the Moon only after the Earth And who first created fauna and flora and then went for the Sun.. I shall teach for I want that job whether I am paid or unpaid and as I know to teach Let Him teach me down on the Earth later if He ever wants.... Madam Valsa, please stay here till we all return from the higher vacuum To fill in the void felt for millions of years and be there never Behind the cassocks of the Bishops frowning at me above there..... Even as mischief and humour spill these beans I would wait for a miracle to happen, it`s my magical wish indeed. Thank you for your comments, Valsa, Diane, Payal and Kanav.

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Tirupathi Chandrupatla 17 November 2013

Hypothetical you say, yet you give a serious thought. Nice poem to ponder. Thank you.

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Rubab Atwal 08 December 2013

its an excellent poem, enjoyed it.

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Dinesan Madathil 27 November 2013

He will be OUR GOD [ of all mortals] and I elevate Him not for me sir, it is for all of us and even if any one does not need to have such a God by him, let him be with the Bishops, the Mullahs and the Sages. Thank you Chawlaji for the interesting note.. God, are you listening? All are discussing my poem on you.

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Om Chawla 23 November 2013

Very interesting write. And there I would Baptise God in the River of Knowledge' and thus you would chisel the God according to your understanding. Wont He then be your God? By the way, are we not always thinking of human God or God of humans? What if other millions of species were able to verbalise their predicament and were to create a God of their own. A good write inspite of my above remarks.

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Heather Wilkins 21 November 2013

beautiful write. When I breathe my last breathe I pray to be caught up in the arms of angels and taken to meet with my departed family.

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Geetha Jayakumar 21 November 2013

I would Baptise God in the River of Knowledge..... I were to be the teacher of His for a little while....... He would shed the tears after the real Work was done...... Sir, I was just wondering if we could do so much in heaven, which we couldn't do in earth... Poem filled with sense of humour and hypothetical too... Enjoyed the write.

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