When All Is Lost Poem by Qiniso Mogale

When All Is Lost



When then zeal for life is gone
When all hope is gone
When faith fails
When faith no longer sustains
When all is lost
Blame them not those who take their own lives.

When friends are nowhere in sight
When relatives are distant
When no one is prepared to provide comfort
When all is lost
Blame not those who take their own lives.
Give an ear to the disgruntled you may save a life
Comfort the downtrodden you may save a life
Help those who have lost their livelihoods you may save lives
When all is lost
Let not lives be lost.

Saturday, July 1, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: modern
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Jefferson Carter 01 July 2017

Qiniso, technically, this is a prose paragraph. Why not break it into lines so it's verse? The piece would work better if instead of larding it with abstractions (zeal, life, hope, faith, etc.) , you focused on images, on showing not telling. Maybe read some good contemporary poetry (Billy Collins, Mary Oliver) to improve? If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it, and, if you do, perhaps share it with interested friends? Thanks! Yrs, JC

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Qiniso Mogale

Qiniso Mogale

Dvokolwako Swaziland
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