What We Had, How It Changed, And How We Lost It All... Poem by Trever Barlow

We had a great friendship between us,
laughing,
joking,
we had a lot of fun together.

We hung out whenever she would allow,
and we began having more deep conversations.

I began to feel closer to her.
I told her that I wanted more than friendship.
She did not feel the same.

The relationship between us began to get almost awkward,
But as friends we got over it.

I still felt close to her,
and prayed I could BE close to her.

I tried to be charming
I tried to be cute
I lost inches of fat trying to impress her.

I tried to change for her,
but found I couldn't.
there is no denying who I am,
there is no changing what I do.
But I tried so hard.

Again I shared the feelings for her that I couldn't subdue.
Again, she pushed me away.

I told her I would wait for her
I wouldn't give up

She said “Don't even try. Stop wasting your time”,
And the more I tried, the further and faster she ran.

I tried everything to put her out of my mind.
It took all of my willpower to give her the space she wanted.

I still couldn't get her out of my head,
no matter how I tried, and no matter what I told myself.

It began driving me crazy
all day and night, just wondering if she felt the same,
even though I knew she didn't.

Weeks passed, and I missed her.
I wished she wanted to be with me as much as I did her.
I wished she would talk to me, so I wouldn't have to talk to her first.

She hardly noticed how long it had been,
how difficult it was to let her go
she didn't care, I wasn't bothering her anymore.

I began to see beyond our friendship,
tried to look at who she was.
It is not what I need in my life.
She's not what I need in my life.

I wanted her to change,
but found she couldn't.
There's no denying who she is.
There's no changing what she does.
I can't ask her to.

As my obsession and love for her faded,
we saw even less of each other.
Until we were never together anymore,
never laughing,
never joking,
and never talking.

I am afraid the friendship we had is dead.
I never wanted this.
I did not ask for this.

I miss her, but every time I see her name,
every time she is mentioned in casual talk,
I cringe and shake my head.

I put on a happy face, a smile.
But nothing is alright between us
I believe she is dead to me, and I to her.

And thats how I lost it all...
Such are the dangers of falling for a friend
only time will tell if we will be able to rebuild what we first had.