What's In A Name Poem by Douglas Scotney

A Spanish man called Juan de Fuca
stressed that it sounded Fooker;

but he was a plucker
and an oyster shucker

so he changed his name to Fugar
and stressed that it rhymed with sugar.

But he was a plugger
and besides, played rugger

so he changed his name to Fuar
and stressed that it rhymed with Kwah.

But he worked in a sewer
and as a guide tour

so he changed it to Juan de Fuir
at which the Gauls looked askance

for 'fuir' is 'to piss' in France
(let alone rhyming in England with 'queer') .