What I Wanted To Say To You Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

we never said goodbye
we used to say Aloha
and laugh about it
like two little kids

It was too hard to say goodbye
and so we never did, even in the end

I remember meeting you
and hiking in the park
jumping across the stream
stone to stone
and how happy you looked

I climbed up the steep hill ahead of you
trying to impress you
and we were both winded
but laughing

When you couldn't make the last two steps
I saw you stumbling and reached out my hand
You looked up as you took my hand
and our eyes met
and you looked like you loved that moment somehow
I did notice

I pulled you up and we walked hand in hand
and you moved your fingers in my hand
to get the grip just right
and I loved that feeling of your hand
moving in mine as we walked

We found a dirty old park bench
and rested
I remember you saw me sweating
and wiped my forehead with your hand
I was so shy, not used to being touched

I kissed you
and you kissed me back
and it was a wonderful kiss
and just then a woman walked out of nowhere
and we tried to act like we were just talking
how embarassing...
she looked so startled that we had to laugh
as soon as she turned back the other way

that was such a nice day you and me shared
one of only a few
and then I had to leave
the difficulty of dating a married man
I didn't realize but I realize now
It was hard on you and I know it hurt you

You used to say
Don't worry...
and hold me close
and whisper that it was just for today
and you let me live in the moment with you

And now, looking back, those moments were so precious
you loved me Carolyn
I know now but I didn't realize then
you know I love you too
you know somehow that what we shared was honest
that's why you gave me the Rosary
you wanted to give it to me and insisted
You were worried somehow that I'd forget you
But I never would

Nothing in my life stays
it all goes away
and it all hurts when I think back
except things like that walk with you
I walked there again with you tonight

I wonder if I'll ever be treated so nicely again
but I know you would want me to be
and me, I wish you are cared for too.
Love and kindness is never forgotten

2008 © James T. Adair