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Valerie Dohren

Freshman - 1,477 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

Watching


Watching in the mellowed light
Through the darkness, through the night
Eyes that pierce and eyes that burn
Eyes that twist and eyes that turn

Watching every move you make
Every single breath you take
Are they there to steal your soul
Glistening, and black as coal

Do they claw into your heart
Ripping every thought apart
Haunting yet your quiet mind
Do you heed them, are you blind

Can you see them, do you hide
Shall you mock them, shall you chide
Are your own eyes ….. open wide

Submitted: Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, October 02, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

The devil within.....

Comments about this poem (Watching by Valerie Dohren )

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  • Bronze Star - 5,345 Points * Sunprincess * (4/8/2014 8:17:00 AM)

    ........eyes are the most beautiful part of a human....some people's eyes seem to be mysterious, as my cousin has eyes of different colors...one is green and one is blue...wish mine was mysterious as hers....love this piece... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,180 Points Hans Vr (4/30/2013 9:03:00 AM)

    As I read the poem, I was forming my own interpretation, which virtually collapsed when I read the notes.
    I tend to agree with thee uneasy magnetic feelings of Theodora and Hari and experienced something like that myself. Still the images linger in my mind. Very interesting poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 298 Points Shahzia Batool (4/29/2013 2:38:00 AM)

    The devil within has a strong presence, he works even one's eyes are opened wide...the beats are perfect...your poems are the best stuff for loud recital! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 657 Points Unwritten Soul (4/28/2013 3:08:00 AM)

    The title is the simplest one compared to others of yours, but the whole poem is still huge and so beautiful, and it set the title again as the door before a poem reading..lovely! and true_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,822 Points Patricia Grantham (4/25/2013 10:44:00 PM)

    An excellent piece of poetry in content and character.
    Something or someone is watching us all the time. We have
    to stay alert and not get tied up. A well penned write. Most appreciative. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 71 Points Yasmeen Khan (4/25/2013 9:25:00 AM)

    Ir starts like a romantic poem but surprisingly moves into some sensational feelings about the 'eye' black like coal' stealing our souls. well-written (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 885 Points Elena Sandu (4/23/2013 6:13:00 PM)

    A great joy to read, loved this poem! I first thought was the conscience flash light but after reading the comments I realized that it fit better to the challenging technology that we are facing, growing and streghtening its chains around us day by day. Thank you! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kevin Halls (4/22/2013 1:58:00 PM)

    I had to read this a couple of times before I twigged on it was about CCTV cameras!
    Another cracking poem Val. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,282 Points Lyn Paul (4/21/2013 4:33:00 AM)

    This is excellent and how far technology has come. Sadly it is needed and privacy barely exists. Thank You (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,283 Points Anthony Di''anno (4/20/2013 8:39:00 AM)

    Brilliant. Scary, creepy and true. It's not just cctv and devils within though. Whenever you are watching television try and make a mental note of how many times you see a single eye. A shot of just one eye. They are everywhere. There's another creepy thought.
    Really well written Val. Creepy, creepy, creepy. (Report) Reply

Read all 28 comments »

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