William F Dougherty

Rookie - 16 Points (West Hartford, CT)

Wallace Stevens: The Click of Marbled Orbs


(Sonnet as Keynote to WS)

The stout man puffs on his Havana cigar
........................
........................
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  • Rookie - 325 Points Jim Hogg (4/28/2014 4:25:00 AM)

    I thought the hardening into concrete as opposed to abstract was very stealthily clever. Sometimes where there's doubt you have to let the prior rhythm guide you as to emphasis. I'm sure that if Stevens were able to read this he'd shake his head and say damn, was I really worthy of this? .... cattle skulls,
    And pettifogging buds.... serious poetic nourishment! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 499 Points Michelle Claus (4/27/2014 5:45:00 PM)

    I happen to be a reader unfamiliar with the work of Wallace Stevens, but I like William F. Dougherty's poem nonetheless. The first four lines are tight and descriptive. - glassblown nouns - terrific! ! My primary takeaway from this sonnet is Mr. Dougherty's admiration for Wallace Stevens; it genuinely comes across. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 708 Points Leslie Philibert (4/27/2014 4:30:00 AM)

    Like this, note you use the Shakespearian form and end on a couplet, not a Petrachian sonnet rhyme scheme.
    Good write (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,094 Points * Sunprincess * (4/27/2014 3:13:00 AM)

    .....a wonderful write for member poem of the day....excellent rhyming...and a pleasure to read... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie William F Dougherty (7/25/2012 6:55:00 PM)

    1) concrete refers to standard term for imagery as specific, not to hardness.
    2) Line # scansion depends on pronunciation of hardening-commonly sounded as two
    syllables and keeping the line in iambic pentameter.
    3) If scanned as three syllables you have iamb/anapest/iamb/iamb/iamb, a permissible and
    commonly used substituion, which see.

    Appreciate your close attention and metrical know-how. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Robert Shelby (7/25/2012 4:59:00 PM)

    This sonnet works well and to good point save line-10 which breaks rhythm and should not end with into concrete having begun with Of hardening but instead with some other -eat rhyme. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Besa Dede (4/30/2012 11:19:00 PM)

    This is a very beautiful poem with a very tender rhythm. I am loving the vivid description of the narration. Thank you for sharing.
    ~Besa (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 785 Points Lamont Palmer (4/27/2012 4:20:00 PM)

    Brilliant tribute to the great bard of CT. Not a word out of place, not a rhythm gone awry. Captures the dexterity which characterizes Stevens. I am humbled and in awe. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 199 Points Guillermo Veloso (4/27/2012 2:32:00 PM)

    Stevens never fails to excite, prick, and otherwise annoy...Love This! ! ! ...Take the general, pedandtic, and otherwise presumptive crap and find a better use....a man's/woman's expressions of self are enough and that is enough.. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,988 Points Pranab K Chakraborty (4/27/2012 2:30:00 AM)

    Rhyming diction is unique with the flavor of picturising the reality. The form may be conventional, but the content keeps foot to the contemporary dailiness. Classic its general appearance but existing reality is its heart. So its create an interest to read it again. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Francis X. Burns (4/17/2012 2:07:00 PM)

    Recognize this sonnet's use of allusions as tribute to Stevens anthologized poems-especially trombones, sausage makers, cattle skulls and pettifogging buds. Footnotes might clarify the allusions for readers not familiar with Stevens elegant stye. (Report) Reply

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