Wakefulness Poem by JJ Evendon

It's early and I should be asleep.
Why am I not asleep?
Because I am awake.
If I'm awake, then I am clearly not asleep.
I want to be asleep
but I'm not, because I'm awake.
If only I could be asleep.
What cycle am I pedalling?
I'm wide awake.
Eyes like rose coloured marshmallows.
The thought of sleep awakens other thoughts.
Restless, I dream of being asleep with her in my dreams
and feel the softness of her skin next to mine.
Could this be what's keeping me awake?
Possibly.
I reach for the bedside light and pause,
afraid that if I turn on the light, she will awaken
for I value my life more than my sleep.
Shortly, I hear the clinking of milk bottles being delivered.
Soon the sun will rise and waken the world -
but I'm already there.
My smile brightened by its first rays.