Vision In The Night Revised Poem by Noreen Carden

Vision In The Night Revised

Rating: 4.8


Deep into the night she awakes sensing his presence
A quiet pensive aura about him
She is aware of his confusion at being in unfamiliar surroundings
lost in a world of strange sights and sounds
His hand reaches out to her clasping, holding.
Hers reaching to him whether in supplication
or trepidation She knew not.
Should he step into her world or she into his
He is hesitant, she afraid.
A shaft of light enters the room.
Thrown down by the waking sun.
A misty ethereal softness heralds the dawn.
Eyes open she sees him fade from her sight.
Was she waking from a dream or was this vision real.

Lost in dreams again, She wakes,
in between her world and his.
He stands silent like a statue hewn from white marble.
Her heart beating rapidly like the wings of a caged bird,
whose flight has been brought to a terrible end.
His lips move yet no words fill the silence.
She speaks softly not to startle him.
If i set foot in your world will i lose my own she questions.
He smiles a smile so sweet her muscle and sinew melt.
Becoming liquid and pliable as he draws her to him.
Suddenly she knows her breath would cease should she not walk by him all the days of her life.
Rising she gives him her hand all her trust poured into him.
They walked into the dawn visions of love lit their eyes.
Two souls bound together for all eternity.

Thursday, September 12, 2013
Topic(s) of this poem: dreams
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
I added the second verse on Dave Walker s advice i hope people will give me feedback i am very open to all advice
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Pradip Chattopadhyay 16 September 2013

The dividing line is blurred. Nice poem, Noreen.

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Dave Walker 17 September 2013

A great poem, you could do a really great follow up to this.

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Dave Walker 18 September 2013

A great add on to the poem, when I said a follow up I meant another poem, but this has turned out pretty well. A great write.

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Geetha Jayakumar 12 September 2013

Wow. Wonderful poem..It was thrilling to read all the lines...Confusion lines are beautiful..Should he step into her world or She into his....Wonderful..Loved the way you wrote....

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Patricia Grantham 14 September 2013

A poem of great intensity and feelings. I can relate to this poem about dreams and visions. Some things we can explain and some things we can't. Nice write.

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Daniel Brick 10 April 2014

W-O-W This the poem I have been waiting for many years! The poem possesses beautiful language, soulful emotions, measured rhythms, and it is possessed by a spirit of truth, the flesh of desire and confidence of hope. The woman in your poem experiences what John Keats called Adam's Dream, that is, when God put him in a deep sleep, he dreamed of Eve and awoke and found her in front of him. Dream plays a large role in Love, and your poem shows the interplay of the two of them. This poem has became in the course of several readings on this spring night in Minnesota one of my essential love poems. I am going to share it with those I KNOW will appreciate it. No cynics will mar its beauty, only true believers will be blessed by it. Let the exaltation begin!

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Thomas Carolan 21 March 2014

a lov ely poem noreen

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Valsa George 30 October 2013

A beautiful close to a beautiful dream... or life's great drama! Let the curtain never fall and let the two souls bound in love walk hand in hand to eternity's brink! Enjoyed much! Though the second part is an interpolation, the poem looks a composite whole and I mildly differ from Bri Edward's well meaning comments!

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Smoky Hoss 16 October 2013

The dream of all humanity becomes real, for some...

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Khairul Ahsan 25 September 2013

I want to mention here that i liked the comments of Geetha Jayakumar, Patricia Grantham, Anthony Di''anno, Pradip Chattopadhyay, Dinesh Nair, Dave Walker, Heather Wilkins and Bri Edwards (be ware of his watchful eyes!) . Thanks to you all for the lovely comments.

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