Victims (Mk.2) - A Triolet Poem by Paul Hansford

A difficult form, but you have mastered it and made it sing as if you invented it! Nicely done. You make it sound like such an ordinary event: the reason for mentioning it was due to the 'inconvenient delay' but as the repeating lines drills it home, the tragedy slowly enters our consciousness. Very modern in it's attitude and word choice; urban dehumanization, they used to call it 'alienation, ' on display at the very least. I noticed that the title 'Victims' (pl.) made me pause. There was only one body on the tracks. Did you mean to imply that the observers were also victims? Or am I reading too much into a simple error?

Of the two versions I prefer this one. The form, with its mantra -like repeated lines, aids the subject matter; the mind gradually realising the true impact of tragic news. Well done.

This is the first triolet I've consciously read. I must try the form myself. The subject is grim but sadly almost commonplace on Southwest Trains lines these days. x Jan

The form and rhythm of this triolet initially belies the gravity of the message beneath. It moves along at the jaunty pace of a chugging train, and then..... the repetition of the 'body on the line at Basingstoke' suddenly makes its impact! S