Vampires: There's No Such Thing. Poem by ivor or ivor.e hogg

.

Count Dracula. A mere upstart.
He is not what he claims to be
A peasant born he plays the part.
Although he lacks the pedigree.

His pursuit of publicity
reveals his base born origin.
The vampire aristocracy
keep careful records of their kin.

He has no proof to offer you.
Although he claims to be a Count.
He cannot prove his claim is true.
A base born lout of no account.

The vampire aristocracy
have sworn to destroy Dracula.
He broke the code of secrecy.
In doing so he went too far.

I can’t reveal how it was done.
Though Dracula will boast no more
A pile of dust lies in the sun.
Which means there’s one less predator.

Though he’s long gone his legend lives.
He‘s seen as a celebrity.
It seems that history forgives
his claim to aristocracy.

Though we do not, we won’t forget.
The damage he did to our cause.
We had the right to be upset
and to defend ourselves of course.

We prefer to live in secrecy
As we have always tried to do.
We do not seek publicity
it would be rather foolish to.

As long as modern man believes
that vampires simply don’t exist.
We are quite happy that they self deceive
Long may their foolishness persist.

Big cities are our hunting ground
nobody misses waifs and strays.
Although their bodies may be found.
Nobody seems to care these days.