Treasure Island

Allan Gerard

~Unprotected Pretentiousness~

I walked through the room
And saw your eyes searching
Looking over the wounds
While waiting for one to

Be drawn in magnetism
Already imprisoned
By the push of the thrill
As they're pulled in the plunge

Round and down and down they go
This rabbit hole knows no bounds
Cradled in fear like a newborn
Eased in indiscretions unannounced

There's a first time for learning
The lessons in, yes, you guessed it
The lips of a lover long lost in a chasm
Long toiled over dances done in romantic

Lust worthy glances
Gazing on through the web covered eyes
You wipe away the web covered lies
To your surprise, you're still alive

Submitted: Saturday, August 09, 2014
Edited: Wednesday, August 20, 2014

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Topic(s): death

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

An Observation. This is PART 1 of a 2 PART poem. The second part is Malice's Dead Hand~

Comments about this poem (~Unprotected Pretentiousness~ by Allan Gerard )

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  • Kevin Patrick (9/4/2014 5:00:00 PM)

    Having read Malice's dead hand, I needed to read part 1 before I could comment on the sequel. What makes it interesting to me is that they are interchangeable themes simply mirroring one another, even the rhythmic flow itself alters with the subject matter with Malice having a continual running meter while this one seems more curt, but equally powerful with some great imagery. Its obviously a whirlwind love affair, one that has come to a seemingly destructive path. Lust has been your bed of passion but when the novelty wears off the heat burns faster then the path of cold longing. The closing says a lot have you survived the relationship and have become stronger from it, or has its loss made you a better person now that its over. (Report) Reply

  • Anthony Di''anno (8/22/2014 11:39:00 AM)

    I agree with everything Daniel says and also what mandolyn says too and I don't even have a dog.

    Great writing my friend. (Report) Reply

  • Daniel Brick (8/10/2014 10:15:00 PM)

    Yes, intimacy can be a dangerous experience, and by danger I refer to anything that can cause a wound. That's important to remember through the poem because it comes in the first stanza. The speaker of this poem is quite confident that he will not be wounded, or not seriously. That may be wishful thinking - but since we only get his
    POV. This poem has GREAT IMPACT, and the story can certainly go on to a chapter 2. I'm curious about what's next. (Report) Reply

  • Mandolyn ... (8/9/2014 8:26:00 PM)

    this is a good poem.
    i really like how you gut the reader in the eyeballs.
    that's all i'm going to say for now.

    if you delete this comment, i'm going to send the ebola virus to your dog. (Report) Reply

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