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Valerie Dohren

Freshman - 1,477 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

Universe


Today I held a universe
Within my palm confined
It glittered in the shining sun
A galaxy defined

So tiny this phenomenon
So tiny yet so vast
Before my eyes I saw just how
A universe is cast

It was so beautiful to see
Its parts less than their sum
So large in its conception yet
Atomic to become

Today I held a universe
Set there upon my hand
It glittered in the shining sun -
It was a grain of sand

Submitted: Wednesday, April 09, 2014
Edited: Friday, April 11, 2014

Topic(s): Poetry


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  • Rookie - 135 Points Danny Draper (4/21/2014 7:48:00 AM)

    I am reminded of Auguries of Innocence by William Blake and this poem too considers infinite expanse and the infinitesimal. The idea of paradox and paradise. A fine write. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,810 Points Akhtar Jawad (4/18/2014 7:24:00 AM)

    Great poem. The internal structure of an atom is just like the solar system. There may be a world within an atom. If it is so, then it is a cycle having no begin and no end, (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 72 Points Yash Shinde (4/12/2014 1:41:00 PM)

    Today I held a universe
    Set there upon my hand
    It glittered in the shining sun -
    It was a grain of sand
    ...................Don't you think you're getting into bit of physics..........but no doubt this poem of yours will make physics even more interesting! ..... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,260 Points Daniel Brick (4/11/2014 3:06:00 AM)

    Your poem belongs with others in a great tradition of the smallest piece of matter revealing - what? Well, some of these poems suggest all matter is compressed into each particle. Others offer the notion that the part symbolizes the whole. And still others that our minds can comprehend the Big Picture by thoroughly examining the small picture. Your poem gracefully and graciously joins this tradition. You give us a galaxy in a grain of sand. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 1 Points Terry M (4/10/2014 4:00:00 PM)

    Very well done young lady, sometimes we don't see the simple things that life offers us. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 348 Points Krishnakumar Chandrasekar Nair (4/10/2014 10:53:00 AM)

    A grain of sand or a drop of dew
    In this wondrous world ever new
    To discerning eyes such as you
    Though brief our time under the arc of blue..........

    Simple but deep.......conveys everything. Very good write. I invite U to my page too (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,985 Points Tirupathi Chandrupatla (4/9/2014 9:36:00 PM)

    Universe in the grain of sand held in the hand. Yes with electrons revolving around nucleus for a universe within. Beautifully put in the poem. Enjoyed. Thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,112 Points Dave Walker (4/9/2014 5:39:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem, with everyone out for what they can get people forget about looking and seeing.
    A fantastic write. (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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