Understanding Poem by imani halley

Even in our sleep pain which cannot forget falls dropp by dropp upon
Our heart
But even in my awareness the appearance of pain
Still follows me with great burden
Fire may not define my life
But it still barricades me from moving on
What life could have been known?
What life did my mother and father
Skew for such an impermanent home
The ideal of them being buried
Under a mound of earth
Thick of enough to silence my cries
Makes me shake and wallow,
Yet these uncontrollable
Tendencies change nothing
Lonnie?
Locomotion?
That's who I am
I'm learning to cope
But why
I was loved
And surely I loved back
But what was the point if they all fell from above
My joy is a shell
Empty of substance
It echoes when my heavy tears fall
A day such as this would be far worth denying
I ask if the ones appointed to love me
Do?
My hearts broken but
Why not the heavens?
I bring tears, but Ms. Edna
Questions why her
She leads me to believe the worlds not wrong
I love her, and she loves me back
She seems so sure
God, life, herself
Is it her beauty that hides her impalpable
Sadness
Lili
Lines and stanzas
Tell my life
Fire and grief
Do not
They are open to my every idea
They don't judge
It's almost like the sea the way it sweeps me away
Like the paper calls me
As if all the pain I feel bust through the dike to be swept ashore
Waiting for me to harvest it
Sometimes I feel handicapped to my own predicament
The times we once called modern
Only exist as information
Rewind to the primitive
The long forgotten state
Strips of emulation and nothing more
Eric he's changed
He seems to be at that long forgotten state
He looks to be deprived of food, water, and life
So young, so far gone
He seemed to be me right after what happened
But I can't tell what I don't know