Unanswered Questions Poem by George Hunter

There are so many important unanswered
Questions in this world.
Number one would be
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Some say 'To get to the other side'
But that's not true.
A chicken doesn't know here from there
Or when from where.
Why is there stuff rather than nothing?
Nobody knows, right?
Was there really a UFO crash
At Roswell, New Mexico?
Do aliens make anal probes?
Did the government hide the report?
Do blondes get dirty quicker than brunettes?
(I'll have to run a test on that)
Does a stitch in time save nine?
Or does it really save ten?
Did Oswald kill Kennedy?
Or did somebody shoot from the grassy knoll?
Does Obama even have a birth certificate?
Was he even born?
Republicans all deny that.
But they think denial is a river in Egypt.
When a tree falls in a forest
Does it make no sound if no one is present?
Impossible to prove.
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
What do one-day-old babies dream about?
Are people crazier than anybody?
Is the Pope really inflatable?
Can Mormons really baptize their dead relatives?
Can the dead guys object if they're atheists?
Where can I buy some of that magic underwear?
Who absconded with those golden plates?
Must of been worth a fortune.
Can a man have many wives and not go completely nuts?
Was the moon landing a hoax?
Also the holocaust. Many stupids say so.
Is truth determined by a show of hands?
Did snakes really talk in Biblical times?
Is there a monster in Loch Ness?
A Bigfoot in the north woods?
A Yeti on Mt. Everest?
Do people climb mountains because they're there?
Or do they have some ulterior motive?
Do rolling stones gather no moss?
Maybe just a little grass stain?
Does your body get lighter when your soul
Leaves you upon dying?
Why am I here instead of over there?
Will the sun come up tomorrow?
Maybe yes, maybe no.
I hope so. I'm betting on it.
Did all dinosaurs go extinct
When a meteor hit Yucatan?
Why didn't bad stuff like cockroaches
Mosquitoes and lice die also?
Why doesn't money grow on trees?
Some wives think so and they're never wrong.
Just ask 'em.
Why does prayer only work some timeS?
I prayed my car would start this morning
It did.
I prayed that I would win the lottery.
No joy.
Is it true that if we didn't have time
That everything would happen at once?
If half of the world's people are nuts
And I'm okay, where does that leave you?
Do elephants really never forget?
Not even sometimes?
On a penny, what does 'e platypus union' mean?
There are so many unanswered questions
Out there, I can't cover them all.
Last but not least is:
Why are there so many more orses arses
In the world than there are orses?