Trade This All Away Poem by Andrus Cassian

I've realized I crave the spectacle of a chain of perfect days
does a turn events like that even exist
if possible, show me a list to prove your finding
The lyrics I know have fallen upon deaf ears
don't sing nor lecture me, I just won't listen nor pay attention
my past is calling for me from states away
and I must, a necessity, to answer with my arrival
Don't stop me, I have no future here
look at me! I'm miserable
The desire to go back, don't mock
it's more than that, it's a nagging longing I can't ignore
Nothing feels the way it should
everything changes like it should
but it's premature, it's all premature
don't question me
Back home is where I belong
this is not the life I planned for
I'm stuck in a lifeless rut
while my devices are taking my eyes as contraband
I see nothing but darkness
I would trade anything, everything to get out of here
be where I want to be
wear a smile not a mask
not be this hollow shell
Everything changes, not for the better
just to a letter
but I've realized there's one difference so far...
Me...