David Harris (18 June 1945 / Bradfield, England)
Toothfairy (Fun Poem 144)
I once wrote a poem
about a tightwad Toothfairy
who pinched the teeth from under the pillow,
but never left anything in return.
On Tuesday I was like a big kid again
and put my tooth under my pillow
just like kids do.
I didn’t want any money,
just six numbers that was all.
However, I had a visit
from a tightwad Toothfairy
who pinched my tooth
but left nothing in return.
Yesterday I wrote a letter
to the Toothfairy council
and complained about the treatment I received.
I am now wondering
when I wake up in the morning
will numbers magically appear
or will I be another victim of the tightwad Toothfairy.
One can only hold one’s breath
and see what the dawn brings.
When I awoke this morning
and you will never guess what I found,
a little note under my pillow
and three numbers not six.
The note read like this:
The tooth was old and damaged
and it was only half a tooth.
We Tooth fairies only pay out for whole ones
and this one was only half.
However, we have decided in fairness
to only leave half the numbers you requested.
If the other half is left under the pillow
the rest of the numbers will be yours.
My problem is the dentist
threw the other half in the bin.
So much for the numbers,
I will have to resort to a lucky dip
and hope it’s not a Toothfairy
who pulls out the numbers
for the big one on Friday night.
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