Tonight I Regress Poem by Shreya Jani

Tonight I regress
Regress into the void that I saw in your eyes
The night has its stories and I missed them as an adult
But tonight I regress into your open conscience.

The night I regressed from being lost to being certain
I made rules for the game of life and rolled the dice
Was saved by the dice in that instance as it excited me with the unknown
That night I regressed into your arms and destiny

Tonight I regress
Between the windows of old age to youth watching the stars
Wisdom and recklessness hold me sequester wondering agony
But tonight I regress into the fragrance of the stars.

The night I regressed from your arms into the unknown
I felt a relief and sadness strange that crushed the heart lifting it up
It swelled up into my eyes and flowed and can still be heard in my laugh
That night I regressed with a light head and a heavy heart.

Each time you called my name
I regressed inwards away and you did the same
We walked shoulder to shoulder happy and scared uncertain
Then just like rainbows disappear you went away.

I lay in my bed paralyzed by confusion
Shivered as my head weighed under the self betrayal
Each inch of the body imprinted with memories inconsolable
Where you just another one who skimmed the surface?

The night I regressed into expectations
I made the mistake of condemning my self
On edge swearing never to leap for the first time or last
That night I regressed into existence rather than living.

Let there be no more telling of this tale after this
The dance is enough each time to make light of it
But each time I regress and the heart swells up
I seek only your arms and lips.