justus barcomb


today


Every single day I sit and wait on the same porch. I smoke the same kind of cigarette, and think of the same thought's. When will I stop? , can I stop? Who am I? My cigarette goes out, the ashes fall on the concrete beneath my feet. I feel like I will never be able to change. I look up, seeing the happiness across the street from me. A mother and father, hugging their child who just got back from school. The sighting makes me think of myself, my own life. How I miss my parent's. I pull out my lighter, and light another cig. I get up, take a glance of my surroundings, and start to walk. Its gray from what I see. Outside its gray. The tree's, puddles, grass, even people are gray to me. I guess it's the emotions I was feeling. Just gray, like nothing. I see my reflections in the puddles I go across, making sure to step on them especially hard. I do that because of my anger, towards myself. The disgusting feeling knowing what you've done. Its terrible. I look forward now, entering another place. Everything turn's white. I keep walking, but I feel as if im floating. I see pictures flash by my eye's. They're memory's. I see a young boy at an amusement park, he accidentally goes on a ride he shouldn't have. It was a horror ride. He cries, but his mommy and daddy are they're to help. I see a man now, him and his beautiful wife kissing. They were standing in front of a house, I then realize, that was the house I bought when I was 23 years old. I then see the picture of a young girl, my daughter. I then enter my reality again, forgetting about the absence of it earlier. I remember those memory's. Know I look at myself, alone, no more children, and no life. Just 38 year old man with an attitude, and no life. I feel like nothing. Getting picked out of my good memories, and getting sucked in the under toe of my life now. I wonder If I even have a future. Is there a future for someone as old as myself? I continue to think these questions as I walk. I suddenly come across a bridge where a sign says, new road built ahead. I cross the bridge, and I see color, not just gray.

Submitted: Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Topic(s): depression


Do you like this poem?
1 person liked.
0 person did not like.

What do you think this poem is about?



Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (today by justus barcomb )

Enter the verification code :

There is no comment submitted by members..

PoemHunter.com Updates

New Poems

  1. The Keepers Of Paris, Arno Le Roux
  2. A Secret Room, Arno Le Roux
  3. The Drug That Is Time, Arno Le Roux
  4. Random life!, SALINI NAIR
  5. Secret Music, Arno Le Roux
  6. My Weird Looks, Rohit Sapra
  7. The Way I Feel About Love, Rohit Sapra
  8. Abandoned, Tony Adah
  9. Lace and More, Arno Le Roux
  10. Let there be light, gajanan mishra

Poem of the Day

poet Robert William Service

Just Home and Love! the words are small
Four little letters unto each;
And yet you will not find in all
The wide and gracious range of speech
Two more so tenderly complete:
...... Read complete »

 

Modern Poem

poet Paul Muldoon

 

Trending Poems

  1. Daffodils, William Wordsworth
  2. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  3. Being With You, Heather Burns
  4. On the Pulse of Morning, Maya Angelou
  5. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  6. Dreams, Langston Hughes
  7. Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou
  8. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  9. If, Rudyard Kipling
  10. Home And Love, Robert William Service

Trending Poets

[Hata Bildir]