Suicidal Happiness

(The graves in my mind)

{To My Dearest Love} Things to tell you


My frustrations became too much
Only ever a one way love
I never expected you to love me
I just wanted your love so badly
I bed in a dark place
I was a friend but now I’m your disgrace
I’ve been feeling so many pains
I was going to tell you but the time never came
I was going to tell you that I love you
More than you can imagine, the kind of love that makes you helpless and second guess everything you do
I heard someone say you were way out of my league and you will never love me
My heart is black and breaking in to but that’s something no one can see
Thinking about how you will never be mine can bring me to tears
But one simple smile from you can wash away my fears
I’ve loved you for a very long time
And my only wish is that you could be mine
I can’t calm down and it’s hard to breath
When you’re in my mind I can’t sleep
My insecurities damage me
I’m nothing like I want to be
You are way better then I deserve
And the fact that I’m in love with you can sometimes get on my nerves
I need you and want you and will give you my heart
My heart stopped and you made it start
And in my mind a battle of love and hate
And I worry that I am too late
Love always won and that was hard to take
Considering that hatred has always been there for me and for the first time my heart aches
I always seem to be asking myself why
Just one look from you makes me feel like I could die
Just thinking about you is my happiness and pain and I can’t stop the affliction
You’re a vision of ecstasy and I have an addiction

Submitted: Thursday, May 23, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, May 29, 2013

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This poem is the second one of the series

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