Suicidal Happiness

(The graves in my mind)

{To My Dearest Love} Lately Ive Been Thinking.


I questioned myself and our ‘teenage’ love
Thinking that our trust was weak in our blood
But I look back to the letters that you wrote
And the little things that made me believe I could cope
I know that soon enough we will have a fight
And anger will stay in my heart over night
But in the end I will still love you
And to me that is surprising and new
I haven’t seen you in a week, how have you been?
I heard you tell me little things and the pictures I have seen
When I spoke to you last your voice was flat
And it’s stupid but I started to worry about that
I hope you haven’t changed your mind
And that you still want to be mine
See the thing is that I know that I should have 100 per cent faith
But my head is full of sin and in the holy water I should bathe
It’s hard being kept in the dark and not having any answers
And then my self made stories spread quicker than cancer
What if you figured out what I really am?
The little girls so screwed up that nobody gives a damn
What if you found someone who is better them me?
Because a pretty girl with a positive outlook on life is someone I can’t be
As much as I want to hate you, in the darkness you are still the light
So I will just stay by my phone, waiting for your call tonight

Submitted: Tuesday, August 06, 2013
Edited: Thursday, August 29, 2013
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