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To Faeo Lyre Clive

O double goer! I cannot bear your weight
but awe at the strength. Higher, demands your
debt than my knowledge of remittance, raw,
knows how it's dared. Be the other self, still great.

You chose none but found me worth your fettle.
Hence, I shall not soft but breast your highness.
You came within, respired my innerness
and sat me, O Noble, on my mettle.

Naught was damned and not life afore, either
but did figured afresh, my form. Shinning
opinion does attend me in your burning
name. Peak invincible, O sightless brother.

Who would not object to the laurels that
accompany me? It is an adventure
embowered; all be it, own self feels sure,
handed away and not known. Would not that?

I spy your height froward flight; although
know not intentions yours but delivered
in stoop, since hope is written in the hard
bounteous stars. Why it is me, I would know.

Mine is mistaken for yours. My family
tree grows disputably and my footfalls
marked for I am no higher to pull thus
heavy. As if you won't mind - - draw knightly,

on more; how be it. O! Stretching this claim
forth when you are not found, what interprets
the progress? I ask inwardly, what wreaths
would there be since you ordered my oriflamme,

neighbours and pleasures away, at your behest.
The most I shall earn, I hope to be shown.
Bear that I have no job else, of my own
but yours. It is risky, all be it, lest

my skin and neck struck thick and stiff at my
end, perish. Confidently do I make
foolish at your love. Count on me awake
to fuel your fire. I shall not stumble nigh

falling lain; but shall all way, pray that you
romp home. As you have chosen, I bid you fare
fair, still; though I know not what hue the sphere
holds for triumph but hope you struggle through.

Submitted: Sunday, November 10, 2013
Edited: Monday, November 11, 2013

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Comments about this poem (O Bruce Mayrock by Faeo 'Lyre' Clive )

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  • Allen Parmenter (11/10/2013 10:07:00 PM)

    Your poems are always strong. You asked for constructive criticism on fb so I might note something - sometimes your constructions could be simplified to retain poetic impact and shave off a certain forced quality that can sometimes interfere with the permanent basic strength of you vision. ex: My family tree is question-existing - This line is perfect necessary and it amplifies the general interrogation of the poem - but, the phrase question-existing' is slightly awkward. I don't believe you have major faults as a poet. The vertical dimension of your poetry is growing - probably you can concentrate on the development of your vision as you use each stanza to accumulate the essence, energies, and truth of the stanza that comes before. Clarity will augment itself and the power of the poem will grow steely, and unanswerable in the best way. Fareforward, Your Excellency -!

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