To A Friend - Poem by Sangnam Nam
I can't believe this is the 28th year since we first met
some quarter of a century have passed by
... You the beautiful look and heart
so easy to get hurt and to lose control if
things don't go right
were stranding there while I had my
own illness afflicting me
'You kept your husband awake while he had to go work early in the morning.'
The social worker at that mental hospital was saying this to me
after so many calls to you at work
'I am embarrassed by these calls now.'
You didn't want people at work know your wife is ill
with severe mental problems
who acted strange to you and beside you
you endured them all and said nothing
but the words 'I think you have mental illness.'
'Sorry if I said that.'
Years later you say apologies
'No, no, it's OK; yes, you were right I was mentally ill.'
What did you think about when that was happening?
You went through the toughest tasks
to withstand the harsh situations to take care of
me the ill one and still wouldn't leave me
arriving home on time from work
doing all the assignments like buying grocery from the town
doing the laundry for me and you
cleaning and dishwashing and drying the clothes on a clothes line
driving back and forth from home to work
and sharing the little money you were making
with me every week when you got your paychecks
Your faithfulness helped me healed
your dutiful heart to be near me and beside me
and you were willing to share the small place with me
only one person can reside
yes, I think you knew I was going to leave you
and didn't have the heart to prepare a place for two people
a family if you can call it
we were just two friends
who happened to be bound
on earth by God in matrimony
'If I try hard I might still be able to do it.'
There was no sex in that marriage
though it was quite alright for both of us
you dreaming of naked girls while asleep
I still in flame but with none to date or make love to
'A hug? '
Once in a while you held me
so strange so rough the hugs were
but kept me from other guys who might have been
interested in me
for your hugs were all I needed
and that was powerful to know you are around
and still looking at me beautiful
'I saw an Oriental girl in town one day that looked like you,
I thought it was you.'
After 16 years you still remember me and think of me
having been grieving over the fact that I actually left you
like your grandparents left you to die
but I am not dead nor mentally ill anymore
your friendship over the years had such a good impact on me
and my system that I am the one who was beloved
as adorable as the one which is me
in your eyes.
8: 49 pm
(February 8,2013) Korea-Japan Time
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