Tit For Tat Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Tit For Tat

Rating: 2.3


A pussycat once saw a bat
hung from the tree, that it was at
thought pussycat, who purred and sat
that any bat which hung like that
might be at that a kind of rat
perhaps a mouse, which is less fat
so when the cat just stared and sat
the bat-like rat looked down and spat
into the eye of pussycat
the pussycat thought 'what a brat'
that he would be regretting that
the cat put on his Sunday hat
and used the feline prayer mat
to hide behind while tit for tat
the pussycat devoured the bat.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Herbert Nehrlich1 30 June 2005

Don't follow you....? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

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Andrew Konisberg 30 June 2005

well, to my mind, the revision improves the whole tone of the poem. you now have a children's poem worthy of Roald Dahl (if I have actually spelt his name correctly, that would be a first) and reminiscent of the tone of The Brothers Grimm's fables, which I think are great. nice work, Herbert.

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Herbert Nehrlich1 30 June 2005

In a rare moment of openmindedness, I have revised it. H

0 0 Reply

A. Koninberg, Your right. This reminds me of kindof dirty Silverstein. So easy to write this kind of thing, just turn off brain and start rhyming. I like prayer mat tho. PS

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Andrew Konisberg 30 June 2005

I put it on the forum...most people were disinterested but Mr. Shepherd said it was reminiscent of the children's work of Shel Silverstein. I thought it was like a amalgamation of Edward Lear and Dr. Seuss. I'd lose the 'skat' and iron out the crinkles and you have the basis of a child's poem...the removal of the word 'shat' would make it work for children...otherwise, you are stuck with a poem that is too immature for adults and not suitable for children, which would be a shame as I am in agreement with Michael that this poem has the basis of a decent children's poem, if slightly amended.

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Allan James Saywell 30 June 2005

there is nothing better then a poem about a puddy tat i love them especially from a decent poet what a great job herbert i got a laugh out of this a great play of words and flow stick it in the forum for carter to have a look at get him to read it to his wife before bedtime Warm regards allan

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