Timothy The Pirate Poem by Charles M Moore

You may have heard of blackbeard
a tyrant of the sea
he'd capture ships
and steal the bits off anything he'd see
but not all pirates were like him
I heard of one today
as I wandered round old Appledore
I heard an old man say

Timothy the pirate
he didn't like the sea
he hated water so much
he wore wellies to his knees
he didn't have a cutlass
he might get cut you see
Timothy the pirate
he didn't like the sea

Tim was rather noble
he had a proper charm
he always helped old ladies
and rescued folk from harm
he liked to talk to children
the stories that he told
about lost treasure islands
and stolen spanish gold

He also had a pidgeon
well parrots were quite rare
the pidgeon didn't say a lot
but Timmy didn't care
at least it kept him company
he didn't feel alone
if he got lost the pidgeon
would be sure to guide him home

Tim was on the shore one day
and found an old ships clock
he said I'll take this home with me
it looks a proper lot
the townsfolk said that's rubbish
you should throw that clock away
he said it aint this clock
keeps perfect time twice in a day

He went down to the grocer
to get some fruit and veg
he said grocer what is hairy
got two heads and got eight legs
the grocer looked quite frightened
his wife fainted on the spot
two dogs said Tim there's two dogs
standing just outside your shop

Tim was getting really old
one day the old clock chimed
the pidgeon said what's that noise
and poor old Timmy died
the village had a service
to rest his bones down by the shore
but Timmys ghostly presence
still wanders Appledore.