Thoughts Of Suicide! ! ! Poem by Compton Wright

Heart beating fast about to explode out of my chest
Sweat running down my forehead like the rivers of depression
Writing my suicide note that shows my skeletons out of my closet
For my family to sorrow and the world to read worldwide
Realizing that life is not worth living anymore
Seeing my mind is split and ripped in two sides
No more pills to take anymore to calm my nerves
No more jackets that hug me in this padded room
As I run to my secret case of murderous memories
With something inside for a snowy day
Seeing that my blood will make a snow painting
As the blood will make a halo over my head
Like an God’s fallen child or Satan’s profound angel
With an magnum.44 in my hand jamming it into my head
Seeing the silver chrome finish on the gun itself
Shinning off the sunrise as it took all night
To give my guts a chance to give up their resistance
Asking to myself if I pull this trigger I'm taking a fool's escape route
Now that is a thin line between life and death, and heaven or hell
Will my family cry or have a celebration?
If I drink this poison and let it run through my veins
Seeing my heart turn black as my soul
As Satan grinning through the whole experience
As the last bullet to the clip is complete
And ready to entertain him or feed his hunger
If I shot the whole school and jump off the roof
Will God have mercy on his child who lost his sight of purity?
Will anyone care if I die right after making this poem for the world?
Or I have to make the news by blowing up the white house and area 51
Maybe the best way to die is lynching over the capital maybe I might feel
My ancestor’s pain of the rope that was made to captured us in Africa
Maybe I should kill myself do my suicide in front of the world in live TV
As watch them love it and make it into a reality show to bring rating to the show
Time almost out as my alarm clock goes off in my room as I say my prayer
And kiss my family goodbye as this will the last time as I disgrace the family bloodline
Putting the magnum in my mouth as I close my eyes…BANG! ! !
Heart beating slowly…
Screams start to fade out…
Tears start to feel cold as ice…
My skin turning blue and purple…
Seeing no bright light in my path…
Nor a gateway to an eternal torment or suffering
But only nightmares of my sins replaying all over again
Understanding what I just done as all this time I made myself…
I dug my own grave as its message was engraved on the tombstone…
“a Fool’s plan to escape the reality of the cold world…”