Things That Don'T Make Any Sense Poem by Jim Yerman

I had to wonder as I was out for a walk last Saturday around eleven
Why is it called the USA Today if it’s available only 5 days out of 7?

If it was so easy for the Gannett Company to come up with this pretense
It led me to question if there are other things that don’t make any sense.

To my surprise on the internet (of course) I was able to find a few
So let me take a moment and share some now with you.

For instance most pizzas we order are round as I’m sure you’re all aware
Why then are they delivered in boxes that are square?

I have lived in Florida so long that this is a question I often shirk
How does the person who drives the snow plow ever get to work?

Certainly you don’t want to hand your money to any old bloke or joker
But if that person is supposed to make us richer, why is he called a broker?

Here is a fact anyone whose ever barbecued surely has to hate
Why are hot dogs sold in packs of 10 while buns come in packs of 8?

There are at least two conundrums with which many people often grapple
Why is there no egg in eggplant and no apple in pineapple?

When lexicographers are compiling I’m sure there are words that they mistitle.
Why else, then, do you recite at a play but play at a recital?

This one’s about cigarettes which I’m sure will keep you riveted
Why do they sell them at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

Here’s a simple riddle just to keep this rhyme alive
If monosyllabic means one syllable, why does it consist of 5?

Why isn’t the word phonetic spelled the way it sounds, certainly that’s wrong
And why does the word abbreviated end up being so long?

This one has no answer it’s the questioning that stuns
Why is it your feet that smell but it’s your nose that runs?

Oh no! I think I had an objective when this rhyme I did commence
But now I realize, to my embarrassment, it’s this poem that makes no sense!

I apologize, now, for this poem that has somehow gone astray
But don’t blame me entirely...blame the USA Today.