The Wedding Shop Poem by Ernestine Northover

A wedding dress is what I would like,
So to a wedding shop then, I must hike,
To choose a dress, that is my aim,
One that will suit my voluptuous frame.

Now how does one begin to acquire,
Such stylish and suitable attire,
The choice is really overpowering,
Where to start is really quite cowering.

There are satins, chiffons, silks and tulles,
Oh my goodness, how my mouth drools.
So what now am I going to buy,
I suppose each one I'll have to try.

Diamonds sparkle, sequins flash,
Diamante to add a bit of a dash,
Frills and flounces, drapes and folds,
Such a variety my eye beholds.

In colours of so many hues,
Pinks, lemons, lilacs, greens and blues,
Creams and whites for formal brides,
Whatever the choice, the bride decides.

There are strapless tops, and separate skirts,
This dress buying, it really hurts,
There are ones with trains a mile long,
Oh gosh, times flying, I must crack on.

I think I'll have the one that's dreamy,
The one that is so deliciously creamy,
There's lots of ruching and a fake fur stole,
I think this one has hit the 'goal'.

It will well cover up my significant bulges,
An excess of all my too many indulges,
And that makes me happy, so I'm happy to say,
Whatever the price, I'm happy to pay.

So there's the cash, and here's my dress,
I've got it now, so no more stress,
Thank you so much for all your advice,
I'll tell all my friends, you really are nice.

I'll send you a photo when the deed is done,
Before we jet off to the sun.
You've gone and really made my day,
So I wish you good fortune, all the way.

© Ernestine Northover