The Web Of Lost Poem by *Brad Combs* (The Igloo Pirate too) *^*Sitting at that Table for One*^*

The Web Of Lost

Rating: 3.0


This web of spiraling emotion
Weaving in and out of control
Lost in this universe
No one cares
No one listens
The pleas i send
Unheard by the listners
No one cares, No one Responds
I am lost, no mater where i go
I am Lost
No hope of return, No good memory to embrace
No thoughts, No cares
I think i will cry
No fairness, No good will
only the feeling of being lost

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Greenwolfe 1962 06 June 2008

You used the word lost in the title of your poem. Since there was no real rhyme or rhythm to the poem, the use of the word lost becomes more important. This is because you want the meaning of your poem to echo in the readers mind. I counted only four uses of the word in the body of the poem. Further, there was no emphasis focused at the begimnning and end. To the extent it was used. I was used inconsistently. These are the structural problems which hindered this poem. It is a poem of worth, however, and I expect you will make more of this poem in the future. GW62

0 0 Reply
Mary Gordley 09 January 2008

Good job of portraying a feeling of the moment. You are yet young, and no doubt you will find yourself and having done so will be found by others as well.

0 0 Reply
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success