The Veggies Response To The Vegan Poem by Sheena Blackhall

'What manner of person, ' implored the Tahini,
'Made me from the wreck of another's bambini?
They cried 'Open Sesame', shattered her head
In my jar there's a trillion young Sesames, dead.'

'As for me, ' cried the fiery, outrageous Pimento,
How rude to wrench me from the land of flamenco,
To sit like a lemon, my soul on the block
Awaiting the guillotine crash of the chop! '

The turnip, the broccoli, onion and leek,
Arose in a body, gave vent to a shriek,
The cabbage said, 'Plainly, you haven't a heart,
Oh the gallons of scallions you've torn apart! '

The aubergine paled neth her Persian élan,
When the cook poured the salt in the foot of the pan.
The mushrooms grew maudlin.
The spring onions wept,
The parsnips grew angry and punched the courgette.

The potato made eyes at a Golden Delicious,
The chilli turned red and incredibly vicious.
But the carrot was silent, for once through the grate
He'd entered Nirvana, the non-veggie state.