The Tiger O Trincomalee (30 Scots Poems) Poem by Sheena Blackhall

The Tiger O Trincomalee (30 Scots Poems)



1.The Tiger o Trincomalee

The tiger o Trincomalee
Took a day trip tae bonnie Dundee
There wis naethin bit cakes
An a plate o hame bakes
Sae he ett up the Broons fur his tea.


2.Keekin Glaiss

I am a keekin glaiss.
A queen aince fulled me
Pearls on her broo,
her warm braith saft on ma face
A rich grey haar

I keep her memory bricht
Nae ither face transformed me like thon quine
I niver saw her at the hinner-eyn
The flame turned aisse
The luv-bow o the mou
In a deid-line.

The Bruce's hairt focht on, its maister deid.
I think hers beats in France,
That bred her in the wyes o sang an daunce.
Her tummlit hair, a flame, wi French perfume

3.The Gorilla fae Rwanda

I'm a gorilla fae Rwanda
My closest frien is a Chinese Panda
We sit at the fire an toast oor fronts
The Panda gurrs, bit I jist grunts

4.Rainy Oot

Twis rainin leaves on Friday
The puddles on the grun
War reid an bronze an gowden
An yalla cadmium

A lake o orange ochre
Wis lyin in the park
The beech tree stood an chattered
In his torn an holey sark

5.The Childe of Hale
The Childe of Hale, John Middleton, (1578-1623) was nine feet three inches in height. His portrait hangs in Spekehall in Lancashire. It was said that when he slept in his tiny cottage his feet protruded from the window.

The Childe o Hale cud niver luik
his neebors in the ee
An that's because, as big's a whale,
the Childe wis nine fit three

Sae his description o them aa
wad differ, far, frae yours
His view o fowk wis similar
tae bees amang the flooers..

Sae Mr Smith wis Yalla-Thatch,
an Mrs Smith wis Curly
While Maister Smith wis Hurcheon-Prods
an Baby Smith wis Hudderie.

Auld Baldy-Croon wis Mr Broon,
his wife wis Lowpin-Bugs,
Their dother Nell wis Carrot-Tap,
their loon wis Muckle-Lugs.

Sir Wilkie Tosh wis Wyndy-Stripes.
His cook wis Touzlie-Tyke,
Her ringlets luiked as if she'd slept
aa nicht ahin the dyke.

Ye'd ken richt aff fa hid a hoast...
their neb micht hae a drap
Bit aa John iver saw o fowk
wis ae wee bit on tap.

He hid the cleanest pair o feet,
weel-washed bi storm an gale
Fin he lay doon they left the hoose,
lang shanks o Childe o Hale


6.Percy Puddock

Puddock oot wi Minnie Moose
Ye've cowped aa yer orange juice
Ower her scarlet satin goun

Percy, lowpin up an doon
Ye should sook ooto a straa
Percy Puddock... Oo la la.
Dis the can-can, canna stop
See him dae the Puddock Bop!


7.Merrvmatanzie

Merrymatanzie an her cat Jean
Makk the magic fur Halloween
They blaiken the shaddas an feed the dugs
A hotter o puddocks an hotchin bugs
Syne like a supersonic bat
Aince roon Saturn an twice roon Mars
Aa nicht lang flee the witch an cat
Back they come wi a pooch o stars
Merrymatanzie, faist's can be
Merrymatanzie...wyte fur me!


8.Tattiebogle on the Brae

Tattiebogle on the brae
Fleggin aa the craas awa
Tattiebogle wag yer airms
Fin the breengin breezes blaw

Tattiebogle dinna fash
Daytime will turn intae nicht
Ye can steek yer een an rest
In aneth the caul meenlicht


9.North East Toun

Stars skinkle ower a parkin lot
Hubcaps an bonnets shine wi frost
Like mowdies, weariet shoppers skail
Oot frae the mall, bood doon bi cost
0 stappin stammaches, heatin hames...
Twa bats gae flichterin fae the trees
Raggety cloots o hungered wames

Ice surfs the waves.
Black spires luik doon
Icicle kirks in this cauld toun
An hoasts hack deeper in the briest
0 fowk fa thole the cauld the least...
Slipt somehou frae the shelterin goun
0 him fa wore the thorny croun.


10.Dental Crisis.

There are nae pooches in yer shroud,
sae leave yer wealth, or spend it.
Nae corp can borra, beg, nor buy,
can gie ye gowd or lend it.

Noo John McTavish wis a chiel weel noted fur his thrift
Sae fin his doctor sat him doon an said he sune wad shift
Frae this auld warld an as its cares, he sortit oot his gear,
His siller, plenishin an hoose, afore the eyn drew near.

He left his shares tae his son Dod, his car, tae dother Jean,
His TV tae his cousin Jock. His fridge tae neebor Dean,
Syne lat him doon tae wyte the chap o the Grim Reaper Daith... `
'Takk oot yer teeth, the nurse cajoled, 'I think t'wid ease yer braith.'

Noo John hid pyed a twa months' wage wi gowd tae cap his mou
A set o shinin molars bricht's the starnies in the Ploo
`My faimly's bin accoontit fur...bit fa can I bequeath
My brand new gowden grinder-doons...ma echteen carat teeth? '
He speired, as Daith steppt up tae wheech awa tae Kingdome-Come
The finest bit o dentistry tae iver grace a gum!


11.Midnicht

Midnicht. The bedroom.
Fit's that soun?
Ootbye the trees are sweeshlin
Ower in a neuk a shadda meeves
Throw auld bin papers reeshlin

Far dis it come frae?
Far's it gaun,
Ghaist-like through the derkenin hoose?
It lowps!
It's here!
It's on the rug
It's Benjy Baxter's moose!


12.Dyeuk

Its heid aneth its oxter,
The dyeukie's faist asleep
Bobbin on the mill puil
Far seggs gyang dreepy dreep

Fit dae dyeukies dream o
Showdin on the breeze?
Dae they think they're galleons
Sailin ower the seas?
Dae they think they're shelties
On a Carousel?
Dyeukies keep the secret
Dyeukies dinna tell.


13.The Fiddle Wisna a Success

The cat hid fiddlit the buiks
Nae cloud hid a siller linin
The show wis a pantomime
Aa the coorse pennies turned up
The dish ran awa wi the speen
The dug ett King Cole's music


14.Taedsteel

Taedsteel in the gairden
Spottit reid an neat
Keepin snailies' hoosies
Frae gettin sypin weet
Fit a braw umbrella
Jist the perfect size
Fur a horny gollach
Tae shelter till she dries


15.Vegan's Anatomy Lesson

Inside ma heid there's a mushroom
A doctor wad caa it a brain
It's poorin oot thochts bi the meenit
An maist o them gyang doon the drain

At the back o ma neb twa tomataes
Sook air oot an in frae the vine
0 ma air pipe. A sonsie reid straaberry
0 a hairt pumps oot bluid aa the time

Ma stammache's a kirn o spaghetti
Ma bladder's a melon half-teem
Ma wyme is a gourd past its sell-by
The anatomy lesson is dane
Except tae say aathin's organic
Nae an implant... ma body is pure
Apairt frae a cap an twa dentures
I'm free reenge as a daud o manure


16.Three Kings Cam Frae Their Native Lan
Tune: Ye Banks an Braes o Bonnie Doon

Three kings cam frae their native lan
Ower ocean, desert, steen an san
Rare gifts tae bring on Xmas day
Tae Jesus happit in the strae

Chorus:
A starnie lets its licht doonfaa
Stood guaird abeen yon stirkie's staa
Sae sodjer, fairmer, aa micht ken
That God's ain bairn wis born tae men.

Three shepherds tae the byre stepped in
Tae boo afore the New Littlin
As breets an birdies gaithered roon
An by yon cradle cooried doon,

Chorus: A starnie etc

Noo ilkie year at Xmas time
We jyne oor hauns tae pray an myne
On Jesus born sae pure, sae smaa
Cam doon tae save an lue us aa.

Chorus: A starnie


17.Speecial Ks

Ma steel bracelet's a Kara
Ma steel sword's a Kirpan
Ma wid caimb is a Kangha
I'm brave as Desperate Dan
My unnerpants are kent as Kacch
Ma uncut hair is Kesh
I takk ma baby sister
Each morning tae the creche
An rin tae stert ma lessons
Sae I'll get on in life
I am a Sikh fae Angus
My granda comes fae Fife
Great granny's fae the Punjab
Singh is oor name. We brag
Translatit it means lion
Jist like the Scottish flag!


18.Christmas

Chap the tatties, bree the neeps,
Gie the broth a steer.
Dicht the bairnie's faces,
Christmas denner's here!

Clootie dumpling in the pan,
Hotterin up an doon,
Fairy lichts ging plunk again,
Haun the tangies roon.

Birssled bubbly jock fur wikks,
Halfins scalin beer,
Balloons that winna bide up
Tatties on the fleer

Faither squar-eed watchin sport,
Littlins wint cartoons.
They've riven oot the aerial
Fa inventit loons!

Santa left a heeze o gifts
Frae his muckle sack.
Karen disna like her toys
He can hae them back.


19.The Hindu Quine

Some worship the Lord Krishna
Some worship Hanuman
Some offer praise tae Ganesh,
Hauf elephant, hauf man
The warld caas us Hindus
Oor faith's fae Hindustan

An fin I'm tae be merriet
I'll weir a sari bricht
Wi henna peintit hauns an feet
Aa fur ma bridal nicht
There micht be sitars strummin
There micht be bass guitars
Fur I belang tae Glesga
Nae elephants bit cars
Will hurl us tae the hinneymeen
A wikkeyn up the Clyde
The proodest bride in Sauchiehaa
Wi Sanjay bi ma side.


20.Bairnie Jesus Tune: Ally Bally

Bairnie Jesus born fur me
Hear this sang in praise o ye
Jist like the fowk o Galilee
I praise ye in yer glory.

Daunlit on yer mammy's knee
Bairnie Jesus pure an wee
On Xmas day this sang I gie
Tae tell o the auld, auld, story.

Luv cam tae the warld yon night
The starns shone oot wi aa their micht
That fowk aroon could see the sight
0 the bairn in the Xmas story

We canna gie ye gifties gran
Myrrh or gowd frae a furreign lan
Bit we hae a sang, sae weel we can
Sing oot tae spread yer glory.


21.Shine on the Warld Ye Lue
Tune: I see the moon, the moon sees me

I see the starnie, the starnie wee
It shone langsyne on the Christ bairnie
Oh, micht the starns that shone on ye
Shine on the warld ye lue.

Chorus:
Shine on the puir fowk
Shine on the sair
Shine on the hurtit
Gie them yer care
Takk tent o us forivermair
Here, in the warld ye lue.

I see the robin's breast sae reid
Ye fin a place fur his gangrel heid
Smaa tho he be, ye ken his need
Here, in the warld ye lue.

Chorus: Shine etc

I see the sna, sae caul, caul, caul,
Rowed roon the toon like a big fate shawl
I ken yer warmth cheers young an aul,
Here in the warld ye lue

Chorus: Shine etc


22.Muhammad

Whyle minarets an muezzins in the sky
Caa fowk tae pray tae Allah in Dubai
My mosque is at the Spital, Aiberdeen
The anely cries are seagulls ower cauld steen

Here as a Muslim I learn the Qu'ran
An keep the haly fast o Ramadan
Ma sister haps her heid in the Hijaab
A modest custom. Aa meat on a slab
Trysts predators like flees aroon a plate
An vanity's a trait we dinna rate.


23.Santa's comin doon the Lum
Tune: Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush

Santa's climmin doon the lum x3
On a caal an frosty mornin

Sna is birlin roon an roon x3

Dunt her feet tae warm yer taes x3

Clap yer hans tae keep them hett x3

Shakk the snaaflakes frae yer heid x3


24.Mistletoe

Dinna staun bi the mistletoe
Wi Dean MacPhail or Watty
Dean's got plooks an a scabby mou.
An a mowser broon an scratty

Fa'd kiss Watty? Aabody kens
He's a neb like a bubbly jock
Ye cud grow ten tatties in each lug
He's a face like a skelpit dock


25.The Robin Sang
Tune: Chick-chick-chicken

Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Stottin up n' doon sae reid Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a daud o breid?
Fur ye michtna get a crumb till Xmas
Nae even a shakk o seed
Sae rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a daud o breid?

Rob-rob-rob-robin,
Wid ye like a drap tae drink?
Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Cause the pond's like a skatin rink
An the icicles are jigglin
An it's caaler than ye think
Oh, rob-rob, rob-rob, robin
Wid ye like a drap tae drink?

Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin,
Wid ye like a crust or twa?
Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wi yer feathers broon an braw?
Fur the sky is caal an wintry
An I think it's gaun tae snaw
Oh rob-rob-rob-rob-robin
Wid ye like a crust or twa?


26.Dragons

Dragons lowp, dragons daunce
Daniel Chong is ma name
Dragons lowp, dragons daunce
My New Year is nae the same
As ither Scots fowk doon oor street
Different rhythm, different beat

Dragons lowp, dragons daunce
Daniel Chong is ma name
Dragons lowp, dragons daunce
Embro toun is ma hame


27.Ancient ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders)

Ye mauna steal.
Ye mauna kill
Bide faithfu tae the spouse ye tuik
Ye mauna lee,
Nur yer heid fill
Wi jealousy
Keep wrang thochts in their neuk
Respeck yer fowk...an in thon six
Commandments frae oor Auncient Buik
Are aa the laws ye need tae fix
The warld, frae Cairo tae Carluke

These I hae learned. I am a Jew
At thirteen I'll become a man
At ma Bar Mitzvah, tho I bide
Hyne aff frae Israel's Haly Lan.
At Hannukkah, I'll licht the lamps
Tae myne past warssles in the san

An I play fitba in the lane
Whyle hingin oot wi Neil an Shane
We stot the baa roon Kelvinside
We are a team. There's nae divide

They dinna care fit faith I hae
Nor foo, nor far, nor fan I pray
They like me fur masel, ye see
An gie nae place tae bigotry.


28.Nativity

The angel secunt frae the left has piddlit on the fleer
The shepherd's chitterin...nae wi cauld, The hale schule faimly's here.

Fin ye hae got a starrin role in the Nativity
It's winnerfu...till yer on stage
An ye are anely three.


29.The Quaet Kind

Whyles we chant, whyles we dinna
Whyles we'll pray. Whyles we winna
We are Scottish Buddhists.
At hame we meditate

Wi caunle, incense, flooer
We'll sit a quaet oor
We are Scottish Buddhists

Aa life we venerate
The Buddha's birth in May
We class a happy day
We are Scottish Buddhists
An Wesak celebrate.


30.Blythe Yule
Tune: The Cock o the North/Auntie Mary

The holly green hings in the haa
The robin reidbreist sings
Roon aabody's waa baith great an sma
Wag Xmas cairds on strings

Chorus:
Gweed cheer gweed cheer
Fur Yule is here
May naebody's plate be teem
Makk aathin braw in hoose an haa
Pit on yer dauncin sheen.

There's caunles bricht tae gie us Licht
The fire is hett in the lum
There's Xmas pies, an aabody buys
A pudden that's made o plum

Chorus: Gweed cheer etc

Pit on yer claes an shoogle yer taes
An caimb yer touzlie hair
Fur noo's the day we skreich Hooray
The rarest day o the Year!

Chorus: Gweed cheer etc

There's pantomimes, there's Xmas chimes
There's crackers o gowd tae pu
An if yer giftie we've forgot
Here's Seasons' Greetins noo!

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