The Sun Questions Life Poem by Andrus Cassian

If only the wind and the stars were possible in the same light
Stars give me the warmth I need, contradictory I know it seems
I guess I need to remind myself I’m unfortunately frozen here in the middle of time and space
Frozen in this criminally convoluted conundrum of why I turn daily on this useless tilt
Or do I really even move
Doesn’t matter anyway, I see nothing but stardust, bits of star stuff
Darkness, a malevolent free flowing nothingness
These floating colors of marble I have no name for, fascinate me
So much time, yet little knowledge and no way to spend it except to watch them twirl
Entertainment, it barely passes as such; it’s just a way to pass the time
Though I’m frequently returning to detoured thoughts
Why am I a silent gas of a burning star in a barren atmospheric wasteland
Bright and warm while everything is cold without oxygen
I personally believed I would’ve by now
Burned out, become dehydrated, dried out, exploded like an atom
I’m constantly awake because I can’t rest my gaze
This is my boring routine as a guardian over these floating colors of twirling marble
Suspended in mid-air, so confusing and mind-numbing
Another question hanging in the mist and fog which will never be answered
But I can answer the rumors I’ve been uninvited to hear like lyrics to a perish song
I’m more than an overgrown star away from, separated from the other billions
I’ve seen all the others, all of them distant relatives
We’re not the same; they’ll all burn out in a matter of years
I’ve been around for centuries but I cannot deny
I can’t judge, who am I to since their fate will be mine soon
I’m without a mouth, a voice so I can’t really save myself
I’m just a guardian, a figurehead; for what, the conclusion I have not gathered
All I know is I’m a glowing essence of radiating heat
Twixt ice cold, dead air in a dark void
It’s a job, a routine I cannot escape from
I have no control; I was made to be right here in this place and I have nothing less to say
I’m just a turn on this axis, the protector of the small arrangement of marbles called planets
A solid educated guess; funny since I have no education
There are other universes I’d like to explore but my home is here and I can’t drive away
My bed is where I stand, laying here restless; my own burning light keeping me awake