The Seeds That Listened And Took Action.....[fantasy; Wishes; Humor] Poem by Bri Edwards

From time to time my wife has said to me 'Some day
I wish all of my Internet and snail mail and phone calls will go away.'
(Of course I, her husband, think exactly the opposite about MY mail and calls.
But perhaps you've heard the expression about there being ears in the walls?)
Well I guess while I was listening to my wife's wish, I was not alone.
It seems other listeners were some seeds, which in apples and grapes had grown.

Unless a few seeds are swallowed by mistake, they end up in our compost bin,
or if I'm outside eating I may spit some out, sometimes with a grin.
So one way or the other those fruit seeds end up somewhere near our house,
where they often wait patiently to grow, each seed as quiet as a mouse.

One Spring day I prepared flower beds...., on them compost spreading,
little guessing that, the next day, the results of my work we'd be dreading.
That night we heard what we thought was wind stirring up the nearby trees,
but in the morning we discovered changes which made us fall down on our knees.
Through our thin bedroom curtains we saw not the normal morning light,
and drawing back the curtains brought to view a strange and awful sight.

Instead of seeing little birds which come to our feeders once the sun is risen,
my wife and I stared at windows which resembled those barred ones at a prison.
Was it possible that both of us were asleep having the same bad dream?
We discussed the possibility of it but that we were both awake, it did seem.
I got out of bed to investigate, leaving my poor wife in bed looking shocked.
I unlocked and pulled on our home's entry door, but it seemed to be, from outside, locked.

All the windows and the patio sliding door were barred, like the windows near our bed.
Surely if we could not escape our home, in several weeks, or less, we'd be dead.
It was then I heard my wife calling, while I was on the toilet pissing.
She said 'Bri, do you have your phone? MY phone seems to be missing.'
We both looked where our phones should have been, and then we looked some more.
It was then we noticed small fallen leaves, inside the slightly open window and sliding door.

Upon closer examination out the windows, through the woody, leafy bars,
we spied our phones on the ground ten feet away......, as inaccessible as faraway stars.
I began to sense what had happened, but it was too amazing to be true;
(if we could SELL the movie rights to what was happening....... Well, that's just between ME and YOU!) .
Wrapped around each cell phone were tendrils from grape vines newly-grown.
Too bad. But then I remembered another way we had to 'connect'...... without a phone.

To the computer by front door I went. To email for help I did conspire.
But getting no connection, I called my wife, and she said 'Good Lord, it's missing a crucial wire.'
It was then I noticed a lonely leaf on the keyboard and two more by window (open) .
The tendril-gripped wire was on the side lawn, too far to reach..., though at first we were both 'hopin''.

We're retired; we'd not be missed at work. The closest neighbor lives far away.
I get out more than my wife, but we're both homebodies; that's our way.
If we don't initiate outside communication, there are few people who'd about us worry.
But to be imprisoned was not our wish. We wanted to find a solution in a hurry.

Luckily we had heat and the means to cook, as we still had gas and electric power.
We had water to wash clothes and dishes, to flush the toilet, and to take a shower.
If we rationed our food we could eat for two weeks, and maybe even more.
Unfortunately we could not reach our garage, where we had an 'emergency food store'.

We do not have our TV connected. We could not hear the news.
But we have CD's and some DVD's, and some books from which to choose.
We don't use prescription drugs and don't see doctors often,
but our relative-comfort-and-security, our present worry about the bars, did not soften.

So we put our heads together over cereal and juice,
and tried some solution, to our new circumstances, to deduce.
We owned no guns to shoot in the air to signal a need for rescue.
Yelling out windows for help would not work. The road was far away and pedestrians were too-few.

It seemed our only recourse was to chop our way out through apple sapling and grape vine.
So we grabbed up big kitchen knives. Hers was very sharp. The dull one was all mine.
First I removed inner sliding glass window panels; then I removed each screen.
We started hacking with great confidence at first. Our resolution to escape was VERY keen.
But with each slash of our knives, thick grape and apple tissue scars did appear,
making our chance of success in cutting through seem more distant....., not more near.

WELL, I often try to be funny. You know...., try to add a little levity to our life.
SO I said 'At least you don't have email, or phone calls, or mail to contend with.'...... Then I saw THE KNIFE.
She had given up chopping at the window bars, and, MUCH to my dismay,
my wife was shaking-visibly and holding up her knife pointed threateningly
MY WAY.



(Dec.2012)