The Sea Quine (27 Scots Poems) Poem by Sheena Blackhall

1.Tree Circle

Blaik in the gloamin five derk trees
Gaither the hoodies tae their eaves
Whisperin secrets widlans ken
Sklaikin o hoolet, bog an fen
Wauchtin their wid yoam ben the breeze
Nae fire-flaucht will disturb their ease
Sic warlock-wids hae histories
Aulder than Templar Park or Ben
Here micht fey Druids' mysteries
Linger amang sterk boughs as these
On the heich horizon, still as Zen
Source tae the labyrinthine den
Vrocht at the warld's genesis


2.Gull, Skirlin

A sea toun's music is a skirlin gull
Roch-like paeon o joy at the tides' incams
Wechtit wi fish an satt. Gulls ride the storm
A fearless tousle o winged Assyrians
I takk nae pleisur in a silent gull
Aa's unca fin it's dowpit, cowed an quaet
A ship without a rudder, sails bund doon..
Open yer braw beak - deefen the Castlegate!

3.Triple Hairst

Improvers hairst the Gweedman's Craft
Clouds wyle rain frae the burn
Tae swall the breist o the barley crap
Till the fermer gaithers the corn

The ferm itsel is hairsted, syne
Skyscrapers, ane twa three
Hunger fur grun, fur roads, fur hames
Fur widlans eesed tae be

Fin the hyne horizon's ae great toun
Wi a twa, three, parks atween
There'll be buiks, an films nae doot
0 an heirskip tint an gaen
An a puir auld bodach on spinnle shanks
Tae spikk o the last loch seen.

4.Boaties

Twa wee boats in a bath o tin
Ane bobs oot, an ane bobs in
See their skipper on bendit knee
Maister o their sma destiny

Wyte till his toys are set aside
Syne he'll wirk wi a different tide
He'll nae brew storms nor win command
Ooto the bield o dreamin-land

5.The Silkie Hunter

Foo dae ye catch a silkie?
Tryst her up tae the shore
Tell her o eildtrich ferlies
Ayont the ocean's door

Bind her wi towes o sail cord
Beery her selkie skin
Stap yer lugs tae her greetin
Missin her seely kin

Syne fin the storm is ragin
Watch her in hodden grey
Writhe in the claes ye spun her
Langin fur sea an spray

Takk her at nicht, my mannie
Ye anely ride a shell
The fisher that hunts the silkie
Maun learn the wyes o hell

6.The Refugees

Twa mous tae feed an ane ower wee
Tae wirk, oot playin in the sna
Twa mous tae feed. Fit dis she see
His mither, in her crystal baa?

She shakks the globe. The sna furls faist
An cauld. Nae manna faas. Nae hope
There's ae wikk's breid. She'll makk it laist
A refugee maun learn tae cope

A meenit on the media screen
Her hame wis swallaed bi the grun
Sma odds tae us, ower gled the scene
Played oot aneth a furreign sun

Twa birds trapped in a baa o glaiss
Wi clouds o fire an wings o aisse

7.Dan in Milan

It's a rum do.
Dan's in Milan on a stagger
Spikes in his biker's jaiket
The Glesga swagger

Hair, the colour of roosty Iron Bru
Mair like Klu Klux Klan
Than Clan Mclbrox
He's three quarters fou

His temper's dicey
It's kept on a short tether
He's weirin platform soles
This wee hard man,
For inches maitter...
Puir, self conscious Dan
Wishes the groom's stag nicht
Wis in Japan
His rig oot's really desperate in Milan

8.Spanish Cuddies

Fower Spanish cuddies, chewin on the gress
Ane cairries bottle taps the secunt's humphin glaiss
The third carries tuna tins, teem o ile an fish
The fourth hauds a pannier o aa the trock ye'd wish

Trottin aff tae rubbish lan, recyclin fur the tip
Watchin far they're daunerin, worriet they micht slip
Fower Spanish cuddies...here's the best ava
They're made o paper. The win'll blaw them aa
Fin their wirk is endit, intae ither skips
They will be recycled, syne, an mebbe haud yer chips!


9.Wee Beach Hooses

Wee beach hoosies,
They hae seen sic sichts!

Knobbily knees frae Paisley
Lirkit dowps frae Dyce

Shoogly breists frae Shetlan
Plooky bahoochies frae Ayr
It disna bear thinkin aboot

Weel, dinna think aboot it then.
Jist cast yer ee ower the stripit peint an buntin


10.Callum an Greta

Callum and Greta are posin
Tae hae their likenesses recordit

They are scunnered and dour
Sour as a hauf-sooked lemon

Nae conversation.
A mortgage that's ower big tae mention

They sit apairt in their ticht designer jeans
Nae lauchin. Nae wenchin
Each coddles their genitals
The faimily jewels


11.The Waltzer

Three Elvises in suits o blue
Sat on a reid waltzer wi silver trim
A star at their feet
Three bouffant air heids spinnin


12.Crivie Gull

A menseless gull on a Crivie street
Wytes fur a pipe band merchin through
A circus, a stooshie, a razzmatazz
A merrimatanzie, a hullabaloo

Nae laird, nae lord, nae lily nae leaf
Nae piper, nae drummer, nae hummer, nae thief
Steers in thon dreich an jeelin neuk
Far twa floats hing frae a fish-hoose hyeuk

A wheen gray lums hoast rikk in the air
The cobbles crack like an auld wive's neive
Her knucklenbanes grown swallt an sair
Sooked like the sea, throw Crivie's sieve


13.Loomweight

This is the wirm that bedd in the yird o Flanders
This is the yird that grew the girse
Far wummled the wirm
That bedd in the yird o Flanders

This is the girse that fed the yowe
That claithed the man that focht the Hun
Richt there on the yird o Flanders

This is the poppy, reid an rare
Its reets rin deep in this cursed lair
Feedin on deid men's bluid an mair
That lies in the yird o Flanders


14.Sea Ouine

She's got hair that's blue
The quine frae the Sea
A fish on her heid
An a cat on her knee

She's braid in the beam
An as sure as Daith
Thon blatterin gale
Is the sea quine's braith


14.The Campus Cat

Some cats mochle in the hoose
Chase a moose they widna
Some cats bide at hame aa day
Smokey Duggan didna

Smokey wis the Campus Cat
Tales o him growe whiskers
King o aa the cats in King's
Monarch o the friskers

Nae bit girse will haud him doon
Sic a restless craitur
Lyin quaet at peace aa day
Wisna in his natur

Fin the meen an stars come oot
An speeirits takk the air
Sleek o fur an fierce o claw
Smokey will be there

Ginger Tom an Brindled Tab
Bi Elphinstane's gray haas
There's a sleeker than ye aa
Wauks furth on shadda paws


15.The Fower Friaries o Aiberdeen

There war fower friaries in the toun
The Black, White, Grey an Reid
An pleisunt war their lans an airts
An pious wis their creed

Far precious peintins hing the day
Aside Blackfriars street
Aince, douce Dominicans wad kneel
An jyne in Vespers sweet

The Trinitarians tuik care
0 seamen near the quey
Reid friars...for the puir an sick
Their yett wis ay ajee

The Carmelites aside the Green
White friars preached an prayed
An delled their grun an brewed their ale
An nae disturbance made

Far Marischal College breists the win
The Grey Franciscans vrocht
Noo doon Ghaist's Raw the seagulls craw
0 labours cam tae nocht

It wisna pox nur yet the pest
Teemed friars frae the toun
The Reformation raised a lowe
That brunt hale King-ships doon

In 1560 rage an greed
Wi Daith grew weel acquant
An mony's the bonnie kirk wis razed
An martyred mony's the sanct.

Step lichtly roon bi Provost Skene's
Wheesht by St Andrew's Street
For there fowk say there's hooded men
Wauk saft on sandalled feet


16.The Nine Burns o the Toun: Tune The Keel Rowe

The Holburn, the Westburn, the Polmuir sae bonnie
The Denburn, the Powis burn, hae dwined tae barely onie

The Lochs are drained, the grun's sained fur biggin, shop an cassie
Bit far's the wee Putachie, the tryst for lad an lassie?

Ca-cannie ower the Spital, on yon hill, fan nichts are still
Ye micht hear the burn trill Beware o Leprosy!

The Trinity aside the quey, the Powcreek by the Links
They vanished by the braid sea that ilkie burnie drinks


17.Snap-Shots o Easter. Barcelona

Human statues stiffen on La Rambla
Dr Faust an Daith ride twa bane-shakkers
Atlas hauds a balloon up as a globe
A motorcyclist blinks frae a fake crash
The Green Man, Flooerin Loon, Attila the Hun
Aa wyte fur bawbees..staunin ram rod straicht
Alang wi three Greek Gods an ae stoot Caesar

The April weather lowses smiles an jaikets
Airms growe fernietickelt, faces reidden
Towrists traik by staas o skyrie smachrie
Beer-bellied faithers, tattooed bikers, bairns
Shoogle an camera-click alang the street
Wyce weemin hug their pyokes like bairns at breist
Here polis cairry guns like cowboy sheriffs

Aneth fowk's feet, deid petals, affcast, dwine
An auld wife rypes a bin an etts cauld chips
This seaside toun's a kettle on the bile
A quine steps oot a door on fower inch heels
Taes stapped in twa triangles o reid leather

Anither labster hits a bed o rice
Yoams o paella, partens, perfume, bikes
Sneak inno shutters, steekit at siesta
Caricaturists sketch fowk warts an aa
Chuckens glower frae pens. Doos coo an hotter
Music's at ilkie neuk.. Fowk jig tae jazz

Parakeets skreich an rage ahin steel bars
Bouquets o roses vie wi a sword swallower,
Opera, flamenco, a street sex museum
Antoni Gaudi's kirk, aa fey an fruity
Funicular railway, trams an cable cars
Shoals o balloons tittin at nylon tethers
For siller, they'll takk cheque or caird or cash.

A flash explodes in the verra ee o Easter
Aside the faithful mutterin psalms an prayers
Aneth cathedral bells. Confession boxies
Excheenge their sins an blessins in the derk
Cathedral geese snap up green cabbage leaves
Bi a wee fountain, St George and his dragon
Niver lose nor win their constrant fecht.

Skelp in the mids o as this gay mineer
A bust o some important lang-deid cheil
Sits smored in pennants, sorra kens fit for
Beach bums swyte on the stran, boozed, stoned
Or fou on plain auld farrant easy-oziness
Naebody sweems...a shark grins frae a sign.
Wee aluminium tables ream wi glaisses,
Tabbies, burgers, duntit tins o beer
Bare British breists plop inno the hett san
The fite marina's thrang wi masts o yauchts
In the Aquarium, ahin blue glaiss, sharks, muckle rays glide roon.
An octopus wi shoogly legs an oxters, glowers oot at fowk
Fa glower richt back in, each in its element.

Ten Scots loons on a stag wikkeyn abroad
Stotter, blootert, roarin, doon the road

Fan's a planeload o Spaniards comin tae Britain
Aimin tae drink thirsels stoshious, doss in the glaur?
Is oor wee airt nae gweed eneuch tae cowk in?


18.A Pussycat's Knickers

A pussycat's knickers are made o fur
A labrador's hose is hairy
But it's in doot fit mainner cloot
Makks the gloves for a gowd canary!


19.The Bagpipe Player

Ither loons lauch an caa me teuchter,
I dinna gee ma ginger
I keep on practisin ma chanter
Keepin ma heid doon
Gaun ma ain gate

See fin they get merriet?
It winna be a disco at the kirk.
A jazz band,
A steel band
A brass band

Na. In Nova Scotia,
Ooter Mongolia
Turkey and Lithuania
It'll be me, or somebody like me
Dirlin the pipes,
Giein it laldy
Screwin the Scottishness
Ooto ilkie reed.

An fin they're deid
Fa's staunin at their heid
Playin them ooto the game
Frae Aiberdeen tae Embro's Portobello?

At Hogmanay, Burns Day,
St Andrews' denners
I'm the ain that's feted

Naebody greets fin Bengy plays his bugle
Naebody celebrates Scotia wi a cello!


20.The Souter's Loon. For Robbie Shepherd tune: Knickv Tams

In 1936 there wis a squalloch in Dunecht
The souter's wife brocht mair than ae new order tae his sicht
She bore a loon that liked a tune her ain wee Shepherd pie
He'd even gie a commentary as he watched his hippens dry

A cricketer, a fitbaa fan, a snooker player tee
He'd dirl up the moothie at the antrin waddin spree
I hinna heard a Horsie sing bit Robbie is the man
Could makk a sheltie takk the fleer an trot tae Jimmy Shand

Frae village class he won a place at Robert Gordon's skweel
(He liked the name an it becam his bairn's name as weel)
He maistered Art an Latin, Shepherd's tartan skeely shewed
The souter's loon fa niver tint the Doric tongue he lued.

Twis at the stock car racin at Garlogie he wis heard
A talent scout frae Meldrum quo 'He's got the Horseman's Wird
Yon cheil could cherm the verra shell frae aff a Torry crab
Ahin a mike at Meldrum sports he'd be the verra dab.'

As strang's Macallan whiskey that is lang matured in store
His column in the P& J keeps Doric tae the fore
That's foo he won his Honours frae the university
Nae winner that Balmoral gied himsel the MBE

It wis as an accoontant cheil he sterted wirkin life
An made his best investment a pianie playin wife
Upon the bus tae Clunie, weel they coortit side bi side
Fur 13 mile wis lang eneuch tae win himsel a bride

An gin ye speir fit keeps their merriege jist as sweet's their peas
He'll tell ye him an Esme's ay amang the birds an bees
They're plyterin in their gairden, they're spikkin tae their seeds
In Doric tae the flooers an English tae the weeds.


21.Weather

Dreich, doonpish, dowie, dreepin
Haar, mochie, jeelin, weetin
Blin-drift wauchtin ower the howes
Winter happin braes an knowes
Come quick Simmer: by-pass Spring
Teuchit storms wi their on-ding!


22.The TV Olympics

Is there an Olympics fur luikin?
I'd win it fur watchin TV
The anely trek I like is Star Trekk
Or the haik tae the fridge fur ma tea

Fowk say I'll turn inno a tattie
On a diet o adverts an soaps
Bit I think that joggin is boggin
An the best bit o aa's fan it stops.

Last nicht fin I sat on the sofa
Ma taes gaed a kinno a yark
As the skin on ma back stertit sprootin
Sma reets powkin ooto ma sark

Sae I micht hae a shottie at yoga
I can waggle ma airms an ma lugs
There's waur things than bein a tattie
Except fur their neibours, the slugs.


23.Global Meat

On Monday we'd a pizza.
On Tuesday we'd a Thai
On Wednesday we'd a curry.
On Thursday we'd a fry
O tatties eggs an bacon
(The eggies war free range)
The tatties war frae Finzean
(An local fur a change)
On Friday we'd an omelette.
On Setterday a pie
On Sunday we'd a burger, wi burritos on the sly

Jist yer average Scottish denners that ma granny niver ate
Cause she slaved awa fur oors tae pit stovies on wir plate.

Noo we dinna pluck a chukken.
We're nae mair the kitchie's slave
We buy meals at supermairkets
tae stap in the microwave


24.Craiturs;

Moorikan Roum wis nae as there
He didna bide at the heid o a stair
A doss hoose ludge or a but n' ben
A hut in the wids wis Moorikan's den

Jumpin Judas, a friend tae flechs
Hawked roon the toon wi lowps an pechs `
Maggie Lauder's' the sang he'd gie
Fur a nod, a smile or a braisse bawbee

Turkey Willie wis humfy-bacicit
Blin in an ee an hallierackit
He'd sell ye a bubbleyjock sae braw
It'd sing like a lintie instead o a craw

Willie Godsman begged fur his breid
He'd een like a fish an a low foreheid
A turned up snoot an a cripple fit
Did ye pyte fur his plenishin? Deil the bit! '

Doon Back Wynd an the Mither Kirk
There's them choose beggin afore they'd wirk
Better gie soup, than siller fur wirse
Stap their stammaches an nae their purse


25.Aiberdeen: A Tale o Twa Touns

My name is Robin Bruce.
This is my toun. Ile fuels it. Ile drives it
The sea that shakks its neive like a heid-case
Challengin the beach, winna fear me.

The cauld win niver blaws snaw in my face.
Oor Hoose is granite. It's bigged tae thole the sizzens
I come frae a siccar race. Like ma faither afore me,
I'll be a student at King's or R.G.U.
A doctor, a lawyer, a vet or an engineer.
A captain o industry, I'll command the crew.

Sundays, ma heid's in ma buiks
Da says I'll need straicht AAs
I hae swum wi dolphins in Florida
I hae scuba-dived in Crete

Joe Bannerman twa streets doon
Face fu o plooks, kens fowk I'll niver meet
Hings oot wi chancers, losers,
Dossers, mingers, bruisers
His dug pees ower the municipal roses
He says that my da's company's tae blame
Fur warld pollution, warmin, acid rain
Ower China, Europe, New York an Rangoon.
Nae ae wee rose or twa in oor hame toun.

My name is Robin Bruce. I am twa steps aheid o the game
Like ma faither afore me. Oors reets rin deep an wide
Incomer, ca cannie. We hae connections. Bluid's on my side.


26.The Five Senses

The flee has monie een sae she can see
The smaaest skirp o sugar left tae pree
The butterflee's lang tongue unfurls tae powk
The nectar frae the crimson rose's dowp

The rabbit's lugs are lang tae catch the soun
Should tod on sleekit paws bi creepin roon
The wyver in her wab feels ilkie throb
0 strugglin gollachs as they strive an bob

The dug's weet snoot's as eesefu as a sail
The snuffler in the fur that leads the tail.

The day wad be gey wersh, if we should lose
The senses. Sic a tycauve t'wid be tae chose
Withoot neb, fingers, lugs, tongue, an twa een
That are perception's marra an back-been.


27.The Burns Competition

Ali is a Moslem, Lakshmi's a Hindu
Mary is a Protestant, Moshe is a Jew
Fit's the threid that binds them, there, upon the stage?
Freed frae confrontation, let oot frae their cage

Birds wi different feathers..
Burns fits the bill Fur his meanin's timeless...
Care, an dinna kill.
Luik efter yer neebor.
Ploo a cannie dreel
Say the wirds an mean them.
They will serve ye weel.