Beach Girl


The Sea Girl Poem by Beach Girl


When I was just a little girl
They brought me to the sea
I waded out as waves unfurled
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Comments about this poem (The Sea Girl by Beach Girl )

  • Gold Star - 12,043 Points Kim Barney (3/23/2015 1:57:00 PM)

    I really like this poem, although I have to agree with Bri Edwards about the use of the word FLOUT. It doesn't really make sense as used here.
    Also, in the second line of verse seven, you should use LAY instead of LAID. Sorry, I can't help it. I used to be an English teacher.
    Great work, however! Keep writing. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Gold Star - 6,935 Points Bri Edwards (1/24/2015 3:01:00 PM)

    some of my favorites:

    Each a gem of ocean wonders
    Formed on soft sea floors

    .....wild waves crashing'

    The blue, the blue, oh it does scheme
    To drive one quite insane

    Caused rain and tears to blend

    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds



    =============================
    i HAD to look up flout to decide if i liked it. i'd like its synonym disregard in the poem even more, even though it doesn't rhyme with about.
    - - - - - - - -
    flout
    flout/
    verb
    verb: flout; 3rd person present: flouts; past tense: flouted; past participle: flouted; gerund or present participle: flouting

    openly disregard (a rule, law or convention) .
    these same companies still flout basic ethical practices
    synonyms: defy, refuse to obey, disobey, break, violate, fail to comply with, fail to observe, contravene, infringe, breach, commit a breach of, transgress against;
    ignore, disregard
    countless retailers flout the law by selling cigarettes to children
    antonyms: observe
    archaic
    mock; scoff.
    the women pointed and flouted at her

    BUT THAT'S THE ONLY THING WHICH KEPT ME FROM THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THE POEM, and i had decided to send it to MyPoemList even before i finished reading.

    i did notice a switch from first person narration to third person narration, but i could live with that, and i might even like it. yes, i like it!
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    this is a great poem! the rhymes i will call imperfect, but i liked them very much. there was some way words rhymed while not exactly rhyming. very nice. if you had tried to rhyme with what i would call exact rhyming, the poem would probably NOT be SO GOOD! bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,427 Points Fabrizio Frosini (1/24/2015 1:04:00 PM)

    a very nice finale.. Thanks for sharing, ''Beach Girl'' (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,975 Points Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (12/3/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    When she awoke and gazed about
    She found herself entwined
    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds
    A very good poem.I enjoyed it.
    Col Muhammad Khalid Khan (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Luna Tsuki (11/9/2013 4:21:00 AM)

    A very touching poem, well done. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Alexander Coppedge (11/5/2013 11:36:00 AM)

    Delightful. A really good flow, most of the time. It did sway. Yet you recaptured and finished this art wonderfully. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,344 Points Hans Vr (10/31/2013 8:17:00 PM)

    enjoyed reading this poem very much.
    Ecellent (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 235 Points Beach Girl (10/29/2013 9:57:00 AM)

    Thanks you Savita! I read some of your poems too, they are just lovely! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,442 Points Savita Tyagi (10/29/2013 8:47:00 AM)

    I am trying to read the poems that I missed reading during contest time. This one is really beautiful. congratulations for fourth place. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,986 Points Khairul Ahsan (10/27/2013 10:16:00 PM)

    Sorry to see this poem miss the honors by the narrowest margin!
    Congratulations on winning the 4th position, that's no mean achievement either! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 585 Points Ramesh T A (10/21/2013 4:47:00 AM)

    Nicely composed poem just as your name reflects in this poem! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,232 Points Ramesh Rai (10/18/2013 6:06:00 AM)

    lovely write. loved reading again and again (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,232 Points Ramesh Rai (10/18/2013 6:06:00 AM)

    lovely write. loved reading again and again (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Dr Tapan Kumar Pradhan (10/18/2013 1:23:00 AM)

    Dear Beach Girl, I loved your poem. Veery good imagination, vivid description and flow of words.You have a real talent here, which can be honed still further. Wish you all the best for the contest. But you cannot predict anything in an Online Contest like this - which can be easily manipulated by cyber savvy poets! ! (See my poem Poem Hunter Contest Final just to have an idea of how a contest can be manipulated...) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Fanny Fransijn (9/25/2013 2:24:00 PM)

    Beautiful poem...!
    I am moved and have to read it again and again. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,360 Points Patricia Grantham (9/19/2013 9:03:00 AM)

    A wonderful poem this is. You are very gifted in your expressions.
    The sea and all its wonders to experience and explore. An excellent
    blend of words and scenery this is. Keep on penning Beach Girl! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ratnakar Mandlik (9/19/2013 2:51:00 AM)

    An excellent poem with captivating power. I liked it very much. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 19 Points Goldheart Bird (9/17/2013 10:42:00 AM)

    I love this poem! It is very well written! I give it a Excellent! : D (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,986 Points Khairul Ahsan (9/4/2013 1:23:00 AM)

    The beach girl has beautifully drawn the portrait of a sea girl! So nice to read, well written, dear poet! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 46 Points Jodie Hardy (8/27/2013 5:38:00 AM)

    Wow what a powerful poem about the sea, It reminds me of my love for the ocean, we have a seaside holiday once a year, I do miss it the rest of the year, I'm going to have to re read this beautiful poem again. xx (Report) Reply



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