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sarah wilksch

Rookie (17- 8- 1996 / Australia)

The Sad Life


pretending to be happy when deep
down inside your dying.

Lying to your friends about how you feel
when all you wanna do is cry.

pretending to love life
when you really hate it.

feeling hated by those you care
so much about it.

realising you can't do anything
anymore.

feeling dead inside.

Submitted: Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Topic of this poem: feelings


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  • Freshman - 1,419 Points Luis Estable (6/18/2014 7:06:00 PM)

    The voice of this poem speaks of pretending to be happy while dying inside; nothing more is known here. Why the person is sad, we do not know, and why that person pretends when she or he does not like to pretend there is no clarification on this.

    I think you could have done a bit more to bring those two things of which I talk to a complete or more engaging poem.

    The poem is very simple, so simple that at times it falls on the side of easy prose, but emotion is seen in some of the lines. My conlution is that this try can be better and when you do that it will result in a much better piece of work.

    Thanks for writing!

    Luis Estable (Report) Reply

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