The Recollection. Poem by Tracee Olga

It’s a bit cold and a little warm in here
Suddenly like never before my survival feels so dear
I’ve got to survive though no help is near
But it fades out now nothing is clear
I reach out with the speed of a deer
Too late it is all cleared
All my life this is what I always feared
A time for reckoning, reconnecting and rerun of my deeds
The uncertainty of my tomorrow the guilt and pain of yesterday
Wait, how did I even get here?

The recollection
Pictures start competing in my head
All wanting audience from my now somewhat confused head
Discouragement from people I thought were mentors
Criticisms from people I thought peers
Misconceptions I got from people who never made effort to know me
Assumptions from people who thought I was no better
The laughter my failures brought the unbelief they had for my success
The obnoxious remarks thrown my way, they underrated me
Thought I was just a lousy noisemaker capable of nothing else than cause trouble
All my actions dubious to them, almost nothing
That’s how they made me feel, inane!

The recollection
Am none of that, I said, that felt nice I shouted, Nicer!
And suddenly the darkness disappeared, the mist cleared
All become clear again, fact clearer than before
Time to rise up
Time to rise up from unscrupulous ‘mentors’
From ignoble peers, strangers, scoffers, doubters
And show the world what am capable of doing
Disregard every negativity, embrace every positivity
And believe I am the change the world itches for.