The Rationale Poem by Mhawi Rosero

once,
I told you I believed in fairy tales,
in Pinocchio and blue fairy
you had that quizzical look as you asked me why
then you smiled at my answer

I said my life was blue and it had changed when I met you
you were surprised, speechless..
but you still managed to ask me why
ditto! and you affirmed to me that our feelings were mutual

I told you nine years from now, I'll leave this world
you said it was crazy
and asked me why
as you whispered to me the hopeful words of life

once, I told you these things
and each was followed by your naïve question: why?
that's why when I told you ‘I love you'
the word came ringing into my ears,
‘why? '

why?
why does the sun still rise and inspire me every morning
and why do leaves sway and whisper the melody of the wind?

why?
perhaps, because of your eyes
because of those tiny luminous orbs of innocent charm
that seemed to be one magical cosmos
still, ethereal, misty as they smiled


why?
why does my sky have starry nights
and why can its vanity lull me into dreams of infinite desires?
why?
maybe, because of your smile
because of that magical curve of your lips
that gentle crack on your face - the sweet threshold of my fantasy

once,
I tried to tell you these things
I tried to answer your whys
I tried but those whys cannot be answered
I told you that ‘I love you' and you asked me why

but why?

why?
perhaps, because I've met you
you've known my heart best that no one else could
you've found me and brought me back visible to the world
and perhaps, because you once cared for me

maybe, because you've given me a soul
you've filled in the vacuous space of my puzzle
and you've shared your heart with me
you've warmed me against the wooden chills of my solitude
and cut the strings that tied me to my primitive desires

but why?
why the leaves hushed suddenly and stopped dancing
and clouds frowned
and needles fell down from the mourning sky
and cut into my skin coldly, deep down to my heart
unbearably yet I felt no pain?
why can't I cry?

perhaps, because the rain must amuse me but it didn't
it's not a tear of that joyful innocence I used to see in your eyes
not anymore
it's only another muffled sob of cold unknowing and forgetting

but why?
why those colors that once arched brightly - that visible spectrum
- lost its brilliance, stained with rusty indifference
and now cut like a murderer's knife in mid-air?

why?
perhaps, because I love you
and it's quite unbelievable like the lines and the verses I wrote for you
maybe, because it's only one ideal concept like my theories and stories
and perhaps, because it's not true just like those fairy tales we believed in

why?
you're asking me why I love you?
I'm afraid I can't tell you why
it's not that because I don't know the answer
but because you already knew
I always know you know

why?
because I love you…
but you never saw it coming.
14.08.08