Enid Derham

(24 March 1882 – 13 November 1941 / Melbourne / Australia)

The Mountain Road


COMING down the mountain road
Light of heart and all alone,
I caught from every rill that flowed
........................
........................
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  • Rookie - 369 Points Stephen W (7/18/2014 4:39:00 PM)

    Don't agree that final 'The' should be omitted. Perhaps 'The Earth' would have been clearer: -)
    It's a very beautiful poem. The author is long dead, so needs no encouragement from us. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie S. A. S. (7/18/2013 11:15:00 AM)

    Agreed with TGC and MM below regarding final line. Hard to write this kind of poem and avoid both cliche and kind of senseless rhyme for the sake of rhyme. You did a good job. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 163 Points Prasanna Kumari (7/20/2012 4:54:00 AM)

    really beautiful....no i can say enchanting bringing out all the beauty of nature through your words.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Terence George Craddock (7/18/2012 11:55:00 PM)

    A moment of joy bliss experienced in travel and an instant of appreciating layers of nature infusing soul and senses. Also in agreement with Michael, the article in the final line is not needed.

    Coming down the mountain road
    earth and I were kin.

    Is a stronger line. A beautiful poem with nice imagery to contemplate. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,963 Points Michael Morgan (7/18/2012 6:49:00 AM)

    Has good use of vowel sounds. March time captures the rhythm of walking. Very nice, readable, poem which is not as simple as it seems. MM (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,963 Points Michael Morgan (7/18/2012 6:38:00 AM)

    I personally would have omitted the article in the final line. Its inclusion mars the meter. This fact is important only if you like meter. MM (Report) Reply

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