Treasure Island

Broken heart emo


The monster In your Head


Description: The lines outside the brackets are said by a girl who is talking to herself and the lines inside the brackets is a voice inside her head which she hates

I can do this (you know you can't)
I'm not a loser (who are you kidding)
I'm not weak (come on, you practically cry yourself to sleep)
I'll make it through (yea because you have no other choice)
They like me (like you? You don't even like yourself)
I will not cry again (then why are your eyes all red?)
I'm beautiful (then why don't you look at yourself in the mirror)
I will not let them push me down (you  know you can't stand up for yourself)
I'm me (then why do you fake yourself to be poplular?)  
STOP IT (stop what? I'm just telling what you don't want to see! Stop fooling yourself, you're a loser and you'll always be)

Submitted: Friday, September 02, 2011

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  • Brian Trujillo (9/9/2011 9:07:00 PM)

    I liked it, but it seems like a self esteem issue. I would love to see it continue and developed that the girl slowly grinds the inside voice and triumphs over the voice. Maybe she can attack the voice...

    Thx. (Report) Reply

  • Silly Artist (9/9/2011 11:02:00 AM)

    I kinda agree with Stephen Buoro.
    Even though the concept is creative, isn't doesn't exactly 'feel' like a poem. continue writing and you'll improve.

    Remember 'Life's a learning experience' (Report) Reply

  • Stephen Buoro (9/4/2011 12:14:00 PM)

    BHE is a good poet. I like the style of the poem. But to be sincere, the poem is still half-baked. It lacks that wholeness which the poem should have. Please follow this link: http: //www.poemhunter.com/stephen-buoro/ or search for my poems to be fully convinced. (Report) Reply

  • Aqeb Benazir (9/2/2011 12:00:00 PM)

    This is really different and cool! ! I like the imaginative thoughts in her mind, and how it contrasts with her life outside. i enjoyed it! ! very dramatic: D (Report) Reply

  • Craig Anderson (9/2/2011 8:26:00 AM)

    Brilliant text I really enjoyed the ride. But don't let the head girl grind you down. ;)
    Regards
    Craig. (Report) Reply

Read all 5 comments »

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