The Man I Am Poem by Phil Soar

I've never liked the man I am
Nor liked me as a boy
I stumbled through my ageing
Just like a broken toy
The process that I've been through
That has made me what I am
Meant that I have'nt like myself
And nothing's gone to plan

I've never liked my moods that much
They torture me at times
I thought I'd write a Diary
But I couldn't write the lines
Too many times the hurt unfolds
Without a reason why
I'm sure I'll always have these thoughts
Right up until I die

My suitability to life
Has haunted me for years
Always in the background
Surrounded by my tears
And I just cannot summarise
The reasons for my doubt
It seems my lack of self esteem
Has followed me about

I've never liked the man I am
Nor liked me as a boy
If I could change the way I am
Perhaps I'd find some joy
I fear it's late, and can't equate
How different life would be
If I could just begin to love
The hurt inside of me