The Literary Agent Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

I once wrote to a literary agent
Saying I wrote some good po-et-ry
I said I wanted his comment
Could his give his advice for this free?

I enclosed a very good sample
Of some of my literary art
I told him it was just an example
Of poetry straight from the heart

Today I received a reply
And opened the letter with glee
Then there were tears in my eyes
When I read what he’d written to me:

“Dear Madam I can only presume
You have sent this stuff by mistake
I would also have to assume
That you must be some kind of flake”

“Your ditties are vulgar and crude
I’m afraid I just don’t get the joke
The content’s horrendously rude
They’d offend any reasonable folk”

“These poems are not very nice
Your grammar is just short of sin
I would hope that you’ll take my advice
And chuck all this smut in the bin”

I read them again late last night
I had thought they were poetic treats
But I had to admit he was right
I’ll never be Browning or Keats

copyright Victoria George