The Light Over Yonder (Happy 2 Year Anniversay Love) Poem by Leslie Alexis
The Light Over Yonder (Happy 2 Year Anniversay Love)
Can you see the light over yonder?
How it outshines the sun and all the stars,
And allows for day to be within the day
And causes night to come to an end;
Can you see the light over yonder?
How it rests easily upon your hand,
And commands respect from every man;
Can you feel its warmth on your cheeks?
Can you see the light over yonder?
How it calls and points the way to go,
Embraces and escorts us along the way
And then upon our arrival, it stays…
Now, do you know this light is of the fire
Set ablaze from the sparks of our kisses:
Those light as air, those heavy like mountains,
And at the distance you are misses…Alexis
I smile at the vision as my heart resounds
From joy; the wait finally over
The law acknowledges you as lover;
This is the light that outshines every other.
We’re pretty strong right now- unbreakable,
But imagine us with the strength of a diamond,
We’d outlive doubt, break barriers to love
Together – always and forever, lovers….
I think it's good, but the rhythm changes and is hard to follow at the end. I think it would also be better if you tried to end it with her name. You imply getting married as well. As long as this is a familiar topic to your gf then that's great, and nice fluidity, but again stay consistent with rhythm throughout the poem. To check this, try reading it as though only the first stanza and the last and stanza were your poem (shows the contrast more clearly) Maybe try to make it more of a full circle ending in some way by tying 'Can you see the light over yonder? ' into the ending with some resolution. Maybe something like; Can you see the light over yonder? For I can see the light so bright burning away the need to ponder Good luck!
oh my gosh! this is suckh an amazing poem filled with love for the one you call your soal mate. this poem has such emotion it takes my breath away, just reading these words. i hope the loveyou two share last and last till forever. you guys seem happy, but i hope you realize this; this in life will chalange you, things wont be so easy, you will want to part for the one you love for a wile, your anger may take over. but if its true love, then you two will make it last ands last for an enterinty. ou may say that things like that will never happen because youer so deep in love, rbut if you come to reality you will realize this, that even the deepest lovers will have deep pain ands obsticles, and so on and so forth.
Wow... When I read this I can feel the emotion that you are putting into this poem... Love it...
Wow.. love this poem... i can feel most of the emotion you are trying to give other people...
Wonderful writing... Love can really deepen thoughts and explore those immeasurable feelings and passion. This is an inspiration to Lovers and to anybody in Love... Thumbs up.
its really good. i think you did really good job at wrighting it
Very well written scans well Really enjoyed it, well done. I can see it was written with much love and care however the last line is a little weak maybe needs tweaking, but over all very moving. Paul
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/24/2024 1:12:52 AM # 1.0.0.1119
This is very sweet and well expressed!