The Light Poem by Kailee Falvo

The coldness of it sent chills up my arm.
As I stared down at it, I could see my relfection.
And as I held this object, my hand shook.
Is this really whats it led to?
As thoughts scrambeld my mind, all I could think about
Was the one way out of this nightmare.
Should I do it? Could I take the easy way out?
Be free from pain forever?
I would wake up every morning with the same thoughts on my mind.
“Why the hell am I here? ! ”
Right when I thought of it, I didn’t have an answer.
So anger and rage filled me, as I would punch the stiff, helpless wall
Which made me collapse in tears and fear.
Fear was the one emotion I felt 24/7.
Nothing could change it, no words, no actions
This feeling, this thing, had taken over.
There were days I was strong; there were days people said that they were proud of me
Which made me believe I could do it.
Then, that thing would creep up like an unwanted solider
And shoot me, right in the heart and mind.
And then the thoughts, the tears, everything that came with depression would appear.
But why couldn’t I stop them? !
Was I not strong enough?
Someone needed to tell me, because I was lost.
I was lost, and angry with myself.
Because I let it consume my life, when I didn’t want it to.
I was a prisoner in my own body.
The warden; depression,
The prisioner?
Well that’s an easy one.
I use to wish life was as easy as that question.
Then I wouldn’t have been like this.
But because of depression, I’ve grown as a person.
I am strong, there’s no doubt about it
Yet at times, I let this thing consume my life;
Not anymore.
I have found my strength, and I have found hope that I can pull through.
I’ve found the light.
And this light is shinning on me, so my depression
Is not as bad as before.
And now, I can say
I love my life.