The Left Poem by Joe Dolce

Barack Obama is Left
so is George H. W. Bush

10% of the world is Left
first identified in a fetus
by the hand held closest to the mouth
Sign of the Devil from sinistrality sinister
Latin sinus meaning pocket Roman togas
having only one on the Left side
German linkshänder French gauche clumsy graceless awkward
Dutch twee linkerhanden hebben is to have two Left hands
in Hebrew Left symbolized power to shame society
brought to Christianity as Natural Evil by Ambrose of Milan
in Ghana to sleep on the Left side is to be dead
an insult to shake with the Left
but encouraged as in india for chamber pots and excreta
southpaw goofy cack-handed from Latin cacare
downunder a Molly-Duker
not always negative
Roman augures proceeded from the East
the Russian levsha a skilled craftsman
in Leskov's Tale of the Cross-eyed Lefty
items somewhat inconvenient for the Left:
cameras can openers fishing reels
on-off switches on dangerous machinery
firearms chequebooks boomerangs
the QWERTY keyboard favours Left
3000 English words typed with only the Left
compared to 300 with the Right
the Left earns 10-15% more than the Right
statisticians say Left is increasing

Clinton is Left
so was Reagan.