The Ipad Shuffle Poem by Jim Yerman

The Ipad Shuffle



It’s funny with all the technology available to which we have access
Unless it is our fingers and hands we exercise less and less.

But I have found the exception to this technological repercussion
That I gladly enter now into the exercise discussion.

I truly love the IPAD it has made life much better than before
But Deborah’s love borders on obsession …yes she’s and IPAD whore.

In the morning I set out her breakfast table as part of our routine
And God forbid, I forget the IPAD…it’s got her People Magazine!

“Deborah”, I say pointing out the window, “a rainbow look how beautifully it extends.”
“Uh huh, ” she says ignoring me as she checks her Facebook friends.

“Deborah I’ve fallen and I can’t get up I think my bones need set! ”
“Oh don’t be such a baby! ” she admonishes, “I’m not through e-mailing yet.”

“Deborah? ” I ask her lovingly. “Isn’t this our wedding song? ”
“Turn the radio down! ” she demands. “I’m in the middle of Mahjong.”

I have a high school and a college and even a Masters diploma
But I can’t seem to bring her out when she’s in a Pinterest coma.

“Deborah I say in my sexy voice it’s bedtime…I’ve even taken a shower….”
“Why would I want to go to bed? ” she counters, “When my IPAD’s still has power? ”

Well I can’t beat the IPAD…I admit it is as sexy as it is wise
The best I can do is keep Deborah healthy and help her exercise.

I noticed it one morning when I forgot the IPAD for her repast
She jumped up to retrieve it and I never saw her move so fast.

Interesting I said to myself in words just above a muffle
I think I’m on to something…it’s called it the IPAD shuffle.

So now when Deborah lays her IPAD down I smile, I don’t grouse
For I pick it up and move it to the four corners of the house.

Oh she panics for a second then she huffs and then she sighs
Then off she shuffles for her IPAD thus getting her exercise.

I may have lost her to the IPAD (though I never thought I would)
But I have to admit that IPAD shuffle is making her look good.

Yes, I’m not sure if her love affair with the IPAD will ever end.
But that’s OK because she’s exercising…and I’m playing Words with Friends.

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