The Interview Poem by Shankaran Kutty

It was a time in my first company so new
When I got a call, for an interview
I was in Chennai and this was Bengaluru
And they were paying my travel costs too

Now fans we were of drinks of the alcoholic kind
And Bengaluru was where many brands we could find
And friends I had many from the college, so
The decision was easy, I decided to go

Six months had passed since the last text book I had opened
But that never was a risk as far as I was concerned
For a job in TCS, was more than I ever had dreamt
So this government job was never going to tempt

I landed in Bengaluru in midst of December chill
But getting drunk in that cold only added to the thrill
The stay was arranged in a hotel, three star
But more important to me, was next door was a Bar.

I called up my friends and promptly landed a few
One brought a text book, the better ones had the brew
With scotch and vodka and Singapore sling
The preparations went well, well into the morning

I still woke up at 7, it was the day of the interview
Of circuits and waveforms, I still had no clue
The book I brought lay at the bottom of my suitcase
But the interview I knew, I was confident to face

I was made to wait there for more than an hour
Some faces were tense, others looked very dour
With a smiling face, I plugged in my Walkman
They thought I was crazy, or simply a madman

“Jaishankar Menon”, a sweet voice screamed
With an hour glass figure she was a model it seemed
That was all the inspiration I needed
To sooth any tensions, her sight certainly aided

One big burly fellow sat on the right
With a greying beard, he sure gave a fright
“Good Morning Young man”, his gravel voice boomed
This was worse than I thought, I knew I was doomed

A middle aged man sat on extreme left
With large soda glasses and hair unkempt
One look at him and I knew he was a nerd
But his voice was meek and could hardly be heard

The one in the middle was a pretty young girl
With a sleeveless blouse and her hair in a twirl
“I am the HR manager”, she said in a sweet voice
She was all I wanted to hear, the rest were a noise

The first question came from one who looked like a bear
The answer I knew, I had heard somewhere
The second one, tougher, but the result the same
I couldn’t muster an answer, even one lame

From there it went down like a Swiss mountain slope
Am not sure if they or me, first lost all hope
When the toughness of questions then came down a notch
I was thinking if tonight I will have Bacardi or Scotch

In that large hall, there was no place to hide
It soon was a question of saving my pride
Then came that tough morning’s only highlight
When she started to speak, seeing my plight

“is there anything that you would like to ask”
That for me was the morning’s easiest task
“thank you for the opportunity, ma’am and gentlemen
Yes, there is one question I have, with your permission

Of all your departments, is there any one specific
Which has been targeted, this time to pick? ”
They looked at each other as if we had switched side
She answered, her anger, struggling to hide

“Yes, we are hiring for our team in software “
She said giving me a very cold stare
“If that is so” I said with a grin
“You may look elsewhere, don’t count me in

For in software I work for the best in the country
Not interested to change, I really am sorry
So thank you gentlemen”, I got up with a bow
Turned and walked, before they said JUST GO

For me to the door it was a race
Though I wanted to turn and see their face
But the interview was forgotten, my mind was filled
Waiting for me, was Heineken chilled